SP and ME
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SP and ME was a personality test website launched by South Park Studios. The quiz consists of 40 questions answered with 5 options ranging from "Strongly Agree" to "Strongly Disagree" and upon completion, it will tell the person who finishes the quiz what South Park characters they resemble. However, it has been taken down for unknown reasons.
Questions
- Your emotions are easily stimulated.
- You would rather "stay in" than "go out".
- You value the opinions of others.
- You like to plan first and then act.
- You always like to do things your way.
- You like to follow the crowd.
- You want to be a part of something greater than you.
- Other people often have to persuade you to give up.
- You will spend a lot of money on a high-risk, high-return business proposal.
- You consider yourself a sociable person.
- It is difficult to control your temper, especially when someone tries to take away your snacks.
- You feel the most comfortable in the group.
- You like well-conceived plans.
- You are not inclined to come up with new ideas.
- When you are upset or depressed, you will get angry with others.
- You like to be outstanding in the crowd.
- You will soon form a strong opinion of other people.
- People are counting on you in times of crisis.
- In social situations, you are usually a quiet person.
- You would rather play video games alone than with others.
- You think it's best to act first, and then ask for forgiveness.
- You accept setbacks calmly.
- You treat others like you want others to treat you like this.
- You like to manage others.
- You often suppress your emotions.
- If there is a party, you will go!
- Seeing is believing, what you see is what you get.
- You tend to draw conclusions directly.
- You are easily angry/frustrated.
- Others respect your authority!
- You can't stand horror movies more than your friends.
- You have a large group of friends that you contact frequently.
- You will always play the latest RPG games or hero adventures with your friends.
- You can handle the great changes in life well.
- You can tell jokes that make your mother blush after hearing it.
- Each of your friends is special, and it's pretty cool.
- When you hear good news, you will immediately tell everyone you know around you.
- A happy birthday in your mind is to have a surprise party with your family, friends, and neighbors.
- In an argument, if you find that you have a problem, you will blame yourself and apologize.
- You are proud of your self-control ability.
Results
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You’re kind of an asshole. You’re all about showing off, especially if it means popping a sick wheelie. People with Sixth Grade Leader DNA can’t be bothered with stupid baby fourth graders, and they will stop at nothing to acquire an actual photo of actual breasts. |
| “Now, let's go get that porno!” |
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You're unappreciated by those you love, driving you to lash out at others, even as you hope your affection will be reciprocated. People with Autumn Hankey DNA are also incredibly witty, always having the perfect insult or quip to unload at the right time. |
| “You boys want to bet I won’t take off all my clothes?” |
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You’re fiercely loyal to your Little League team of choice. You’re not opposed to wearing a mask or a cape, and you always seem to have a beer on you. People with Bat Dad DNA can trash talk like no other. |
| “Here we go, Denver, here we go! Huh, huh!” |
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In general, you’re a very kind, sweet person – but when provoked, you can become extremely vindictive. People with Bebe Stevens DNA are lovers of all things fashion and makeup, and are very focused on their appearance. |
| “Please, you have to help me! I think that if my breasts keep growing this way, boys will give me whatever I want!” |
Beelzaboot the Canadian Devil
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You’re dastardly, scheming and hungry for people’s attention, but you can’t quite achieve the level of wickedness needed to compete with true evil. People with Beelzaboot DNA may have an affinity for gaming, provided they’re able to profit off of it. |
| “Hey, guy, I'm the Canadian Devil.” |
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You can be hard on others, and you tend to become confrontational when you feel you’ve been wronged. People with Betsy Donovan DNA are persistent and not afraid to tell people off, especially when things in their world are going down the tubes. |
| “WHAT have I told you about putting the toilet seat DOWN after you go to the bathroom?!” |
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You’re cheerful and outgoing. You love to be helpful, whether that means volunteering to lead your local scout troop or rescuing rejected homosexual pets. When asked how they are, people with Big Gay Al DNA will likely respond, “I’m super! Thanks for asking! |
| “You big silly goose!” |
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You are a cheerful, enthusiastic person. Others may perceive you as shy or weak, but you are far more powerful than they realize. People with Bradley Biggle DNA are so kindhearted and selfless that they almost don’t seem human. |
| “Shablagoo!!” |
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You’re incredibly imaginative – and more than a little naive. Even though you’re perceived as a good person who always does what you’re told, you definitely have a dark side; it’s just a lot lighter than other people’s dark sides. People with Butters DNA are taken advantage of easily and grounded often. |
| “Wieners out!” |
 |
You’re curious and intuitive. You like to seek people out before they seek you out. People with Carl DNA tend to blend into the crowd, and they enjoy watching others from afar. |
| “Moo...moo...moo. (Yeah, sorry about that. My bad!)” |
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You are reckless and suspicious, with a questionable past. Nevertheless, people with Catatafish DNA radiate charisma and authority. |
| “I’m not here to make you do anything. Like that underage salmon. I didn’t make her do anything. If she wants to bass to mouth, how is it my fault?” |
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You always try your best, even when you’re surrounded by idiots. You’re usually the voice of reason among your rowdy friends and family, but that’s never stopped you from turning down a free beer. People with Carol McCormick DNA are strong and not afraid to put their back into their work. |
| “We shoulda never gone to that stupid cult meetin'.” |
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People look to you as a source of advice and wisdom. While your private life is...complicated, your desire to guide those who are in need of direction is very admirable. Those with Chef DNA have an ear for music and a deep romantic streak. |
| “This is all I’m going to say about drugs. STAY AWAY FROM THEM. There’s a time and a place for everything and it’s called COLLEGE.” |
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You’re an outgoing person with a clear sense of right from wrong, and you refuse to take shit from anyone. At times, people with Classi DNA’s impulse to defend their beliefs can get the best of them, causing them to become violently belligerent. |
| “I'ma break your dick off!” |
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You're sensitive and selfless. You may not be the most intellectual person, but you nonetheless have more mature interests than most of your peers. People with Clyde Donovan DNA take ownership of their actions are quick to defend others. |
| “I'm not fat, goddammit!” |
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You are a selfless companion and an adviser to your friends. You don't have much direction yourself; you're content to just sit there and go with the flow. Despite this, people with Clyde Frog DNA still manage to be defiant from time to time, talking smack about those who love them. |
| “Why are you so cool?” |
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You often disguise your true self in order to influence the world around you. People with Crab People DNA can be self-serving and weak, often bringing others down to their level to prey on them. |
| “Taste like crab, talk like people.” |
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You’re a chill, laid-back kind of dude. Since you’re extremely rational and straightforward, you usually can’t be bothered to join in some of your friends’ wilder adventures. If people with Craig Tucker DNA could flip you off right now, they would be so, so happy. |
| “If I had wheels, I'd be a wagon.” |
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You are a well-intentioned romantic who wants nothing more than to see your friends in happy, healthy relationships. Yet people with Cupid Cartman DNA are a bit too confident in their matchmaking abilities, often forcing incompatible people together in spite of themselves. |
| “Tee Hee-Hee” |
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You’re passionate and prideful. You lead a simple life, and believe in fairness and hard work. People with Darryl Weathers DNA can easily become pissed off when they feel that something or someone conflicts with their point of view...or takes their job! |
| “You're wrong kid, the government doesn't give a crap about you!” |
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You are an introverted troll with a clingy disposition. You have a tendency to project your insecurities onto others by harassing people on the internet. Deprived of friendships and romantic partners, you have a hard time understanding social cues and boundaries. People with Dildo Shwaggins DNA are usually proficient in JavaScript. |
| “I know who you are.” |
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Living proof that looks can be deceiving, you don’t put much effort into your hygiene or personal appearance. But you still have an appreciation for the finer things. People with DogPoo Petuski DNA should probably shower more than they do already. |
| “I've been hanging around these guys for, like, five years, and I never get to say or do anything.” |
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Sometimes mistaken for being meek or unassertive, you have a dark, chaotic side and a penchant for disarray. People with Dougie O’Connell DNA can always be counted on to take part in a dastardly scheme. |
| “I'm an outcast, too. A frail child cast aside by society. I want to follow you and... whatever you're doing.” |
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You’re spontaneous, eccentric and deeply creative. You may be a little too out there for some, but your genius is evident in your work. People with Dr. Alphonse Mephesto DNA love an outrageous idea or a wild experiment, and they don’t abide by conventional social norms |
| “It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering that soon there will be an end to hunger, disease, pollution, even war. I have created things that will change the world for the better. For instance, here is a monkey with four asses.” |
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You’re compassionate and respectful. Though you may not have all of the answers, that never stops you from making a very uneducated guess. People with Dr. Horatio Gauche DNA are prone to making silly little mistakes, such as accidentally replacing a human heart with a baked potato. |
| “I'm more concerned about his state of mind. Your son appears to be completely insane.” |
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You are a fairly average person; you just want to sit on the couch, play video games and eat delicious Cheesy Poofs. But you can also be a sadistic, sociopathic piece of shit. People with Eric Cartman DNA are often only interested in wealth and authority, stopping at nothing to obtain both. |
| “Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya! I made you eat your par-ents! Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya!” |
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You’re devout and faithful. Though you may be a bit hypocritical, you truly believe that everything you do and say is in the service of bettering the community you love. People with Father Maxi DNA are often the subject of ridicule but have accepted it as the price they pay for sticking to their principles. |
| “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Sometimes the giveth seems a little disproportionate to the taketh. There seems to be a lot more takething going on, but there it is.” |
Four Assed Monkey
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You’re an enigma. You may be a little irritable, which could be due in part to the fact that a lot of your life is out of your control. People with Four-Assed Monkey DNA prefer a life of peace and quiet, and hope to settle down somewhere with others like them. |
| File:Geeky Computer Guys head.png | You’re a reclusive, cerebral soul who derives power from working in a pair. Sometimes, your strong beliefs regarding “Battlestar Galactica” and “Star Trek” can get in the way of your relationships. People with Geeky Computer Guy DNA believe that sex is overrated and resistance is futile. |
| “Time-travel is no laughing matter.” |
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You’re intelligent, friendly and kind, but you have a stubborn, sarcastic side. People with Gerald Broflovski DNA are seen as morally sound, but it’s easy for them to get carried away at the behest of their inner internet trolls. |
| “I'm a Big Boy, I took a big boy poop!” |
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You’re a smooth talker. People with Giant Douche DNA say whatever they think people want to hear. |
| “We've got spirit, yes, we do! Giant douches me and you! Let's GOOOO douches!” |
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You are a cultured art and music lover, who will throw a temper tantrum when you don't have access to your favorite songs. People with Guinea Pig DNA tend to have a quiet, sensitive disposition that disguises their angry, destructive streak. |
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You’re extremely biased and have an overinflated sense of self-importance. You have strong beliefs that influence your work. People with Harrison Yates DNA trust their instincts to guide them – even when they really shouldn’t. |
| “I had a bad experience at Red Lobster and if the people don't know about it, they could too. Folks deserve to know where they can eat, Mitch.” |
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You’re highly regarded as both smart and funny. Your fatal flaw is that you are easily influenced by others’ opinions of you, which causes you to act rashly. People with Heidi Turner DNA don’t like to be told what to do, and can make anyone laugh (except Elon Musk). |
| “I don't even try to be funny.” |
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As the goth queen of South Park, you’re a nonconformist who hates trends and posers of any kind. People with Henrietta Biggle DNA may not get along with their families and have been known to enjoy pastimes like chain-smoking, committing arson, and blaming vamp kids and emo kids for society’s problems. |
| “You'd like to wait till I was dead, wouldn't you? You'd like to see maggots eat my face.” |
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Odds are that you are in a position of authority, but maybe you shouldn’t be. You’re smart, but as somebody who’s always looking out for number one, you don’t always behave responsibly. People with Herbert Garrison DNA have bright futures – provided their actions don’t blow up in everyone’s faces. |
| “Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie.” |
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You're an innocent soul with hidden depths. Though you admittedly don't look like much, you might be a super genius. People with Ike Broflovski DNA can pick up complex tasks quickly. Oh, and are probably Canadian. |
| “Don't kick the goddamn baby.” |
 |
You're friendly but mysterious. No one knows much about your personal life, and you're just fine with that. At the same time, people with Jason White DNA also secretly wish they'd be given the spotlight every so often. Even just once. Please. |
| “This playground is for metrosexuals, macho man!” |
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You’re an introverted nihilist with absolutely no life. Your only human relationships are with other gamers and online trolls. Despite their destructive internet tendencies, people with Leroy Jenkins DNA are soft-spoken and gentle souls. |
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You may be more comfortable hanging out on the sidelines, but that doesn’t make you an unwelcome presence. Hell, your close friends are as tight as family. People with Jimbo Kern DNA are always resourceful in a pinch. |
| “Hell, everything’s legal in Mexico. IT’S THE AMERICAN WAY.” |
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You are a natural-born comedian with a positive outlook on life. People with Jimmy Valmer DNA are handi-capable of anything, and they are trusted resources for their friends. |
| “My mom says God had a plan for everyone, I guess I was plan B.” |
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Hey, what's there to say? You're someone who leaves an impact. Some people, or "haters", take issue with your methods or truthfulness. But dammit, that comes with the territory of being a go-getter. People with Joseph Smith DNA are known to have their followers. |
| “It appears this David Blaine is as dangerous as you and your young friend had feared.” |
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Quiet and withdrawn, you tend to stay close to the people you trust. People with Karen McCormick DNA can have a tough time in stressful situations, but they are extremely loyal to those they look up to. |
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You’re open-minded and a risktaker. Though you’re usually upbeat, your emotions can shift quickly and sometimes get the best of you. People with The Queef Sisters DNA don’t play by the rules and believe in equal gas relief opportunities for all. |
| “I'm sorry, doctor. I had air trapped in my vagina.” |
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You may not be the richest person in town, but you would do anything for your friends – even die for them. People with Kenny McCormick DNA tend to express themselves through vulgarity but are often hard to understand. |
| “Mrrph rmph rmmph mrrphh!” |
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You’re extroverted and stylish with a big heart. Although people with Keshawn DNA can be ruthless, they are secretly hopeless romantics yearning for true love – preferably in a remote chateau in the Swiss Alps. |
| “You be pimpin’?” |
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You’re drawn to the nerdier side of the cultural spectrum and, to be frank, may very well be a nerd yourself. People with Kevin Stoley DNA can always be relied upon for their extensive knowledge of “Star Trek” plotlines. |
| “I gotta sit middle 'cause I get motion sickness.” |
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You’re a bit of a punching bag among your peers. You may feel like no one cares about you. It might be true. People with Kip Drordy DNA aren’t the most popular and often question whether or not they should delete their social media accounts. Hang in there. Good things will come to you. |
| “He laughed out loud. And then he was rollin' on the floor laughin'!” |
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You are a natural problem solver and leader with a strong moral compass. Things don’t always go according to plan, but people can rely on you to stand up for what you believe in and to tell the truth no matter the cost. People with Kyle Broflovski DNA are multitalented and have a logical, patient outlook on life, even during tough times. |
| “They can throw me in jail for the rest of my life but I AM NEVER going to suck your balls! EVER!” |
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There are more things to complain about than hours in the day. You’re not afraid to be vocal about the problems going on in your life. People with Kyle Schwartz DNA demand that people take them as they are. As a result, they aren’t always the most popular. |
| “Oh Jesus, that flight was terrible. They served a chicken dish with hot sauce and it gave me gas.” |
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You often find yourself in distress or in need of rescuing. While people with Cheesing Princess DNA are generally open books, they retain a certain aura of mystery. |
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You’re a little shy and awkward. You struggle to make your own decisions and require a partner who will encourage you to think for yourself. People with Larry Feegan DNA often come from very controlling families, and wearing a life jacket will offer them the best odds of survival. |
| “Today, I went to 7-Eleven, and I ate a Slim Jim.” |
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You don’t mind keeping to yourself, and tend to be easygoing, calm and collected. However, people with Laura Tucker DNA have a limit to their patience, especially when confronted with hairy situations. |
| “Now, because I choose not to let society dictate how hairy my vagina should be, I'm labelled as some kind of freaking monster!” |
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You’re a kind person who will bend over backwards, forwards, sideways and upside down for the people you care about (or a casual acquaintance). You’re fiercely loyal to friends and family, asking for almost nothing in return. People with Liane Cartman DNA may appear sweet, but they’re not afraid to speak up for themselves – and they have a hidden wild side. |
| “How is your beefy roast, snookums?” |
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You’re compassionate and protective, especially over the people you love. A natural scientist, you favor rules and structure. People with Linda Black DNA are very present in their communities, even if they’re not always the most vocal. |
| “Tolkien? Did the boys come over and... show you a movie?” |
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Quiet and a bit of a wallflower, you prefer to defer to others when it comes to making decisions. However, people with Linda Stotch DNA’s passivity can be deceptive, as they are prone to losing their temper whenever they feel slighted. |
| “Oh, for the love of Pete! What is wrong with that boy?” |
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You lack confidence when you need it most and struggle to fit in with social groups. People with Lisa Berger DNA are often willing to dramatically change their personality or appearance to achieve a goal. |
| “Every cheerleading squad has a fat ugly cheerleader and that's me.” |
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You’re fiercely loyal and preternaturally sweet. Though you tend to find yourself in compromising situations, you have the potential for greatness. People with Lemmiwinks DNA should always be ready for adventure, wherever it takes them. |
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You’re curious, determined and supportive. You like to feel needed, but your desire to stand up for those you love often gets in the way of just behaviors. People with Maggie Yates DNA are skilled at playing video games, especially Red Dead Redemption 2. |
| “Believe me I would love nothin' more than to have you quit the force and no longer have to worry about whether or not you're comin' home.” |
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You are often ignored or dismissed, which causes you to unleash your rage on the world of men. People with ManBearPig DNA tend to have issues gaining the trust and attention of those around them. |
| “ROAR” |
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Cheer up! You may be prone to getting down on yourself, but you should know that there are plenty of people out there who think the world of you. People with Marvin Marsh DNA may be forgetful, but they’re also unforgettable. |
| “Seniors of South Park, I don't know about you, but I am mad as hell!” |
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You tend to dwell in the past, often romanticizing your former glories. People with Member Berry DNA tend to be negative influences on their friends, weaponizing their nostalgia against others. |
| “‘Member the 90s?” |
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You’re a born leader with an extra-bubbly personality, and leading a team comes naturally to you. People with Mercedes DNA may be overlooked but are nonetheless capable of surprising people with their hidden talents (like dance-fighting). |
| “You didn't tell us that we might get served!” |
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You’re practical, articulate and wise beyond your years. You don’t conform to societal expectations or whatever, but you’ve also been to anger management, so you understand that the world is pretty complex. People with Michael DNA know the difference between goth, vamp and emo, and would choose goth any day. |
| “If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do.” |
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You're an iconoclast and a leader, but you may have gotten a little too into the “Twilight” craze. People with Mike “Vampir” McKowski DNA can always be counted on to make life a little more interesting, per se. |
| “We dress the way our souls feel, to express the darkness, per se.” |
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You're drawn to the arts, but let's admit it – you're prone to go along with the latest fad. Still, you have to admit that when people with Millie Larsen DNA are interested in something, they go all in. |
| “I'd like to twizel his pixie stick.” |
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You are underestimated by the people around you, and sometimes prone to underestimating the pain you can inflict upon others, but you’re a softie at heart. People with Mimsy DNA have an exceptional work ethic and show undying support for those they admire the most. |
| “Dahhh I got me a shark whistle.” |
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You’re self-obsessed and extremely controlling. You try to impose your will on others, and you get offended when they don’t share your passions. People with Mr. Gueermo DNA love to expressive themselves in the form of song, dance and – especially – slaps. |
| “If I had a jock for a son, I'd be the laughingstock of the men's choir club.” |
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You're sincere about your dedication to guiding others, but, man, other people just love to try your patience. Still, you know that they'd be nowhere without you. People with Mr. Mackey DNA are often the voice of reason in a world gone mad. M'kay? |
| “Don't be such a pussy M'kay.” |
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You’re a loving spouse, parent and poo whose mission in life is to bring Christmas cheer and presents to children with high-fiber diets. People with Mr. Hankey DNA have an abiding love for the true spirit of Christmas. |
| “Howdy ho!” |
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You're unapolagetically yourself, and people love you for it. People with Mr. Slave DNA know how to live life to the fullest." |
| “Ooh, Jesus Christ!” |
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You're loving and supportive, but you're also easily manipulated, especially in matters of seduction. People with Mr. Testaburger DNA mean well, but they tend to let their personal interests blind them to reality. |
| “I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, Wendy. From now on you can have whatever you want from this store, I'll help make you the stupidest, most spoiled whore of them all!” |
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You're a disciplinarian who holds others accountable for their actions. People with Mrs. Testaburger DNA care about others deeply and always want what's best for them, particularly if what's best for them is making sure they don't get a boob job. |
| “Wendy, have you been bullying kids at school?” |
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You’re rational and empathetic. You attract a lot of suitors, but you only have eyes for one person. People with Mrs. Tweak DNA never hesitate to take action when it comes to standing up for what they believe in. |
| “Oh well, guess we'll just have to live without our informative crime drama.” |
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You’ll play both sides of an issue to get what you want, but at the end of the day, you look out for number one. People with Nathan DNA demand strict loyalty from those closest to them and aren’t shy about lashing out when someone crosses them or lets them down. |
| “Let me give you guys a hot news flash: If you want to hurt a crippled kid, you don't break his FUCKING LEGS!!” |
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You’re accident-prone and a bit of a hick. You’re obsessed with trucks, beer and violence. People with Ned Gerblanski DNA have made a lot of sacrifices in this life – maybe even losing a limb or two along the way – but they did it all for the good ol’ U.S. of A. |
| “I don't think eight year old kids drink beer, mmm.” |
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You're deeply spiritual and a devoted caregiver. You may occasional do things like mutter to yourself or exorcise a demon. People with Nellie McElroy DNA are a bit neurotic, often overly preoccupied with performing household duties and worrying about spirits tainting the purity of their curtains or pot roast. |
| “...Tree-fitty.” |
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You’re compassionate and understanding, and you don’t like to offend anyone. People with Nichole Daniels DNA are accepted by many because they are very likable, easily turning the heads of interested admirers. |
| “Look! Somebody left a deli platter. And board games. And massage oil.” |
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You're trustworthy, friendly and humble. Though you may come off as incompetent to others, you're always attuned to the goings-on in your environment. People with Officer Barbrady DNA are deeply devoted to their work, even if they kind of suck at it. |
| “Well, being an officer of the peace means a lot of things. It's a hard job, but then I'm a hard man.” |
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Your heart is in the right place; nobody could say otherwise. But, jeez, would it kill you to lighten up every once in a while? Seriously. Despite their unflinching rigidity, people with PC Principal DNA are only trying to make the world a better place. |
| “We are at war, but the only way to win this war is to be as understanding, non-biased and politically correct as possible.” |
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You may not be a born leader, but you do march to the beat of your own drum. And at the end of the day, no matter what sort of crazy stuff you decide to pull, you can count on all the great friends you’ve made to stand by your side. People with Pete DNA know how to stand out from the crowd. |
| “Let's just face it: they bogarted our style! Everyone's gonna think we're trying to be butthole vampires now.” |
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You’re low-key cool and a faithful companion, who's willing to do anything for your friends, including sacrifice yourself in a fire. People with Peter Panda DNA are nuanced and don’t just see things as black or white. |
| “Eric kicks ass!” |
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You’re an upbeat, carefree person with an infectious laugh and a joyous outlook on life’s more scatological moments. People with Phillip DNA come from sturdy stock and often enjoy long, illustrious careers in their chosen professions. |
| “Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage without farting?” |
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You are an outcast, often belittled and abused by your peers. People with Pip Pirrup DNA are friendly, if socially awkward, but are nevertheless targeted by the universe for reasons outside their understanding. |
| “Hello, my name is Philip, but everyone calls me Pip, because they hate me.” |
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You are a supportive, loyal friend. You're even willing to resort to murder if it helps the people you love. People with Polly Prissy Pants DNA never unravel in emotional situations. |
| “Say hello to the sunrise for me.” |
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You're a natural-born leader – bold, innovative and attractive to boot. People with Prince of Canada DNA will do anything to help their peers, but aren't afraid to take advantage of, or even exploit, outsiders to achieve their goals. |
| “Canada is back to being an ethical, respected, shitty tundra.” |
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OK, look, we’ll level with you: You are sometimes a wee bit impulsive. And headstrong. And, uh, let’s say foolhardy. But despite your flaws, you really do care about your loved ones, so that’s something. People with Randy Marsh DNA will always surprise you, ya, ya, ya. |
| “Isn't this America?! I'm sorry, I thought this was America!” |
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Your social skills might be lacking, but you possess a depth of understanding and knowledge, and can shock others (and yourself) with your ability to alter your behavior completely. People with Rebecca Cotswolds DNA can be tightly wound, but they’re always ready to let loose. |
| “Wanna go make out?” |
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You're a confrontational person, both when it is and isn't necessary. You're the sociable type, and you've experienced a series of fun but short-lived romantic flings. People with Red DNA enjoy being popular with their peers and are obsessed with Justin Timberlake. |
| “You know what I heard? I heard that she made out with eight different boys in one minute.” |
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Life hasn’t exactly gone the way you wanted it to, and that sucks. But still, you’re out there every day, putting your time in and giving it your all. That’s admirable! People with Richard Adler DNA are case studies in perseverance. |
| “It's our responsibility to make sure our kids are safe if they're gonna screw around.” |
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You’re calm, relaxed and business-oriented, though you prefer small, family-owned companies to the vagaries of big business. People with Richard Tweak DNA are skilled communicators, convincing speech writers and abusers of good metaphors. |
| “All is fair in love and war… and coffee.” |
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You’re quick to get on board with trends, and you like to go with the flow. People with Roger Donovan DNA are often seen around town, but they remain a quiet mystery. |
| “You know I meant the SITUATION is pretty hairy, right? Nothing to do with YOU personally. I mean- How would I even know? I didn't see it? Umm...” |
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You're deeply protective and a great listener. People with Rumper Tumpskin DNA are always there when others need them and enjoy attending a good tea party with friends. |
| “You are tough and handsome.” |
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Despite being the Prince of Darkness and the supreme ruler of Hell, you are genuinely a nice person who is willing to help others in times of need. You also throw the most bitchin’ Halloween parties in the underworld. People with Satan DNA are sensitive but prone to bad relationships. |
| “I have such delightful horrors to unleash upon thee.” |
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While you are largely misunderstood by the people around you, you are a compassionate, sensitive soul. People with Scott Malkinson DNA may not have a lot of close friends, but they’re the most loyal buddies anyone could ask for. (And it might be a good idea to lay off the sugar.) |
| “Hey, don't make fun of my diabetes.” |
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Arrogant and maybe possessing a bit of a mean streak, you’re probably used to things going your way. Just don’t get too comfortable. People with Scott Tenorman DNA should beware of treating others cruelly, as they just might get what’s coming to them in the end. |
| “You're not from the IRS! You glued my pubes onto your face!” |
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You’re short-tempered and incredibly rigid. At times, you’ve even been known to help evil men in power. People with Scott the Dick DNA are extremely patriotic, but sometimes, their good intentions end up just being evil. |
| “You all kept calling me a dick, and so then that turned me into a dick! And then I got radiation poisoning in Ottawa and now I'm a giant dick!” |
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Ahh, your scary reputation precedes you. A reputation that, for better or worse, has nothing to do with what you're actually like, you big softie, you. People with Scuzzlebutt DNA do in fact look out for others, but they're not always rewarded for it. |
| “Friend.” |
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You see yourself as an educator with a mission to mentor those around you. People with Sexual Harassment Panda DNA also have an unfortunate tendency to be self-righteous, pushing their beliefs on others out of ego and vanity. |
| “Did you know that when one little panda pulls on another little panda's underwear, that's sexual harassment? That makes me a sa-a-a-a-ad panda!” |
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You’re the straitlaced voice of reason among your family and friends, reining them in when they tend toward the absurd. People with Sharon Marsh DNA are dependable and patient...up to a point. |
| “Shake Weight, you're not really work out equipment, are you?” |
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You’re an active member of the community and frequently stand up for what you think is right, even if it means you can be a little combative. People with Sheila Broflovski DNA are proactive and unafraid to jump into the fray, even when facing the most formidable of enemies: Canadians. |
| “WHAT WHAT WHAAAT!” |
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You’re tired of putting up with everybody else’s BS, and you don’t care whose ass you have to kick to show it. May God have mercy on those who face your wrath. Someone with Shelly Marsh DNA isn’t necessarily a people person, but they do have a few very close friendships. |
| “You can’t run from your past, TURD! APOLOGIZE AND MAKE AMENDS.” |
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You’re conservative and a bit closed-minded. Whether you’re enjoying a drink with your buddies or leading a protest, you seem to fixate on the things that make you angry. People with Skeeter DNA have rigid values and don’t take kindly to…anything, really. |
| “Now this here is a dry Riesling. You're gonna experience vanilla aftertones and a nutty finish...” |
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You are an average all-American person, and despite your crazy surroundings, you remain levelheaded. You may have a strange way of expressing your love for others, often not being able to control what comes out of your mouth. When all else fails, people with Stan Marsh DNA will ask themselves, “What would Brian Boitano do?” |
| “This is America and in America, if something sucks, you’re supposed to be able to get your money back.” |
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You are an adventurous, generous and soft-spoken spirit. You are sadly familiar with poverty, but you are adept at making friends wherever you go. People with Starvin’ Marvin DNA are capable of overcoming grave challenges. |
| “Sweeet!” |
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You tend to be more even-keeled than those around you, but you’re prone to overreact or go to extremes at times – by grounding loved ones for weeks at a time, for example. People with Stephen Stotch DNA have everyone’s best interests at heart, even if they don’t always show it in the right way. |
| “Butters, how do you know what your teacher's penis looks like?” |
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You're incredibly wealthy and enjoy your luxurious lifestyle. You're very interested in the law, and may feel inclined to pursue a career as a lawyer, even if you disagree with certain legislation. People with Steve Black DNA have trouble relating to the middle class, preferring to shop only at stores where they can get valet service for their fancy cars. |
| “Jesus what kind of porno was that?!” |
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Oh, you’re strong, alright. You know what you want out of life, and goddammit, nobody’s gonna stop you from taking it. People with Vice Principal Strong Woman DNA are likely to break through any barriers that may stand in their way. |
| “I have worked my WHOLE LIFE to be the strongest woman possible.” |
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You do your best, but things never seem to work out in your favor – most likely because of your vices and emotional volatility. People with Stuart McCormick DNA seem to find themselves out of work more often than not. |
| “Don't touch me! I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned, have been made love to in the ass by three dozen 40-year-old men—I just wanna go home and take a, a hot bath!” |
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You tend to blend into the background and let others take the spotlight, yet you still manage to forge a few close friendships. People with Tammy Nelson DNA usually have one BFF, and that’s about it. |
| “Can I tell you a secret? My mom has a drinking problem too.” |
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You’re here for a good time, but not a long time. You’re fun and stylish, and when you stan something, you Stan. It. HARD. People with Tammy Warner DNA aren’t the most consistent presence in others’ lives, but they do make an unforgettable impression. |
| “There'll be plenty of time to wear rings and be boring and lame when we reach our late 30s and we're boring and lame anyway.” |
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You're charismatic and personable, and your can-do attitude keeps people coming back for more. People with Terrance DNA have a sense of humor that people can really get behind. |
| “Oh! Thank God. The last thing I need is more kids.” |
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Inventive and arrogant, you prioritize learning and personal advancement above all else, so you make enemies easily. People with Terrance Mephesto DNA are prone to hubris and should make an extra effort to check themselves. |
| “I have spawned a creature genetically far superior to man. I present to you, the five-assed monkey.” |
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You're deeply emotional and expressive. You may be an individual of few words, but you don't let that stop you from getting in on the action. People with Timmy Burch DNA are talented performers and are great with pets." |
| “TIMMY!!!” |
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You’re very friendly and hospitable, and you put your family first. People with Thomas McElroy DNA have definitely encountered the Loch Ness Monster at least once, but they never, ever give him $3.50. |
| “I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!” |
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You’re a casual, laid-back person who is often the first to suggest grabbing a drink with a few friends. People with Thomas Tucker DNA can be argumentative and judgmental, but are also supportive and caring. |
| “I'll 'oh' whoever I want.” |
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You're chill, you're never reckless, and you know better than anybody that a preventable accident is the surest way to kill some good vibes. People with Thumper DNA are never likely to go out and have a bad time. |
| “Okay, you see what he did?! He French-fried when he should've pizza'd. You French-fry when you pizza, you're gonna have a bad time!” |
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You’re calm, cool and collected. You have the pride of a lion and a heart of myrrh. People with Tolkien Black DNA have an artsy side, contrary to what others may think. |
| “JESSE JACKSON IS NOT THE EMPEROR OF BLACK PEOPLE!” |
Topher
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You’re a social justice warrior and a major bro. When you’re not correcting others’ insensitive language, you take comfort in drinking beer and working out with your fraternity brothers. People with Topher DNA are all about checking privilege, and they have deep admiration for people who are stunning AND brave. |
| “Somebody here have a problem with Caitlyn Jenner? 'Cause she's a stunning, beautiful woman, and if you wanna call her anything else I'm ready to fuckin' throw down!” |
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You're driven and passionate. Some might even call you an activist. However, people with Towelie DNA aren't necessarily passionate about anything useful, and in fact, might hurt others in their single-minded quest to get what they want. |
| “You wanna get high?” |
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You have an entrepreneurial mind, but you’re quick to anger. You’re prone to putting up walls between yourself and others. People with Tuong Lu Kim DNA have strong personalities and a great disdain for anyone or any group that tries to break down their walls. |
| “Never try to barter with a Chinese man!” |
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You’re a hothead. People with Turd Sandwich DNA love spewing insults as a defense mechanism. |
| “We’ve got spirit, yes we do! We are sandwiches filled with poo!” |
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You’re pretty paranoid, and generally a ball of anxiety. You have difficulty completing even the simplest tasks because you hate feeling like you’re under pressure. People with Tweek Tweak DNA are admired for acting in accordance with their strong moral compass. That said, they would benefit from laying off the caffeine once in a while. |
| “Oh man, that is way too much pressure!” |
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You’re self-conscious and benignly deceitful. You may not be easy on the eyes, but you hope to find someone who sees that it’s what’s on the inside that truly matters. People with Ugly Bob DNA choose to use their strengths for the greater good. |
| “I'm Bob. But my friends call me "Ugly Bob", because I have the features of a deformed burn victim.” |
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You’re a very irritable, deeply angry person. People with Veronica Crabtree DNA speak to people in a hostile tone and can come off as incredibly intimidating. |
| “Sit down and shut up!” |
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You’re kindhearted and bright, but sometimes, jealousy can get the best of you. You’re not afraid to go against the grain and stand up for what you believe in. People with Wendy Testaburger DNA are often there to provide the kick in the ass that other people need to get their shit together. |
| “I'm gonna kick your ass, that's what I'm gonna do!” |
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You're a master at deceiving and manipulating those around you. People with Woodland Critter DNA act genial and compassionate, all the while concealing their true, darker intentions. |
| “Hail Satan!” |
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Gifted with both talent and self-esteem, you’re always looking to get others involved in your hobbies – even if those hobbies take up way, way, way too much of your time and energy. People with Yao DNA excel in their chosen fields. |
| “I can't dance without the machine.” |
Gallery
SP and ME billboard.
Trivia
- The website, along with the site name, is a parody of 23andMe, a genealogy website, since this site was made for Season Twenty-Three.
External Links
- SP and ME website. Archived on January 22, 2022.