Dildo Shwaggins

Dildo Shwaggins
Character Information
Aliases	Dick Slapperman
Gender	Male
Race	Caucasian
Hair	Brown
Occupation	Internet Troll
Voiced by	Trey Parker
Appearances
First	"Wieners Out"
Latest	"South ParQ Vaccination Special"

Dildo Shwaggins, who also refers to himself as Dick Slapperman, is an internet troll who first appear in the Season Twenty episode "Wieners Out".

Background

Early in life, Shwaggins was frequently teased for being short in stature. His mother had dwarfism and his father had "gigantism", and she believed the two would produce a child of average height.

Although he did not appear on screen, in "The Damned", he leaves a cryptic note on Gerald Broflovski's car while he is in the supermarket. The note reads "I know who you are." After Gerald initiates "Protocol Zero", he rushes home to destroy his computer. Forgetting that Ike's computer may also contain information about his misdeeds as Skankhunt42, Gerald frantically looks through it. He then receives a Google Alert saying the following:

---

meet me under the freemont
bridge.
9am tomorrow.

---

The next day, in "Wieners Out", Gerald meets Shwaggins under the bridge, as planned. Shwaggins introduces himself as a fellow troll and tries to get Gerald to listen to some time-sensitive information. Admiring Gerald's work as a troll, Shwaggins explains to Gerald that the Danish are quickly planning to wipe out the trolls, and wants Gerald's help.

After stalking Gerald for several days, Dildo Shwaggins finally meets Gerald in the park and shows him the video of Lennart Bedrager announcing TrollTrace.com, an internet service dedicated to identifying users online. He then escorts Gerald to an undisclosed location, where a meeting of fellow trolls, including Jenkins, is taking place.

In "Douche and a Danish", the meeting takes place, and Shwaggins successfully convinces Gerald Broflovski to join their cause. Preparing for the big troll against Denmark, Shwaggins partners with Broflovski at his home and sets up his computer in Gerald's office. The two, along with all of the other trolls, successfully troll Denmark.

Believing he had a friendship with Gerald, he tries many unsuccessful times to grow their friendship in "Fort Collins". He writes a song for Gerald, and even brings him a present. To no avail, he finally learns that Gerald trolls just to be offensive, and gives up. Having given up, he is unresponsive when Gerald attempts to contact him.

In "Oh, Jeez", he appears briefly along with the other trolls captured by TrollTrace.com. Believing that Hillary Clinton had hired him to infiltrate and sabotage the service, he tours the building in disguise. Lennart Bedrager secretly had a deal with Clinton to capture the trolls, and locks Shwaggins and other trolls in a secure room.

Still captured in "Members Only", he tries to convince Gerald to stop trying to escape through the security door. After Lennart Bedrager announces his plan for the world, Shwaggins declares that President Garrison will not allow him to follow through with his plan.

Appearance

Dildo Shwaggins is overweight, has a brown beard encompassing his lower face, and brown dreadlocks. He wears black rain boots, jeans, a heavy, green rain coat, black gloves, and black glasses. He also wears a three-wolf-moon t-shirt, and a black Ushanka hat.

He is occasionally seen carrying a coffee drink, an electronic cigarette, and a dark brown bag.

• Images of Dildo Shwaggins
• 

  Meeting with Gerald under the Freemont Bridge.

• 

  Outside Gerald's house.

• 

  Playing the flute outside Gerald's bedroom window.

• 

  Meeting with Gerald in the park.

• 

  Shwaggins as he prepares to troll Denmark in "Douche and a Danish".

• 

  Helping Gerald.

Prominence

• "The Damned" - Does not appear, but leaves cryptic messages for Gerald Broflovski.
• "Wieners Out" - Convinces Gerald to team up with fellow trolls to combat TrollTrace.com.
• "Douche and a Danish" - Seen helping Gerald Broflovski in trolling as Skankhunt42. He also conducts the troll against Denmark.
• "Fort Collins" - Last name revealed as Slapperman. Tries to form a friendship with Gerald, but fails.
• "Oh, Jeez" - Seen with the other trolls captured by TrollTrace.com being "rick rolled."
• "Members Only" - Seen being held by TrollTrace.com and trying to convince Gerald Broflovski to stop trying to escape.
• "Not Funny" - Seen at TrollTrace.com being humiliated by Lennart Bedrager.
• "The End of Serialization as We Know It" - Seen at TrollTrace.com's headquarters locked in the control room and helps Skankhunt42 escape and destroy TrollTrace.
• "South ParQ Vaccination Special" - Seen at the end celebrating the end of the pandemic.

Trivia

• His name is a pun on "Bilbo Baggins", the main character of the J.R.R. Tolkien novel "The Hobbit".