Navigate the American Health Care System

Navigate the American Health Care System is a song featured in South Park: The End of Obesity.

Background

Cartman, Kyle and Butters visit the health insurance company in order to get the money for Cartman's weight-loss drugs. After being refused they go on an odyssey consisting of paperwork and visiting various different doctors to try to get the insurance to pay for the medication.

Lyrics

We're gonna navigate the American health care system
It's there for you and me

Secretary:
Just fill out those forms.

We're gonna get better
And we're gonna be strong
And as healthy as can be

Doctor:
I need to send you to Imaging.

Let's navigate the American health care system

Secretary:
Just fill out these forms.

Kyle:
I just- I just filled 'em out at the last place.

It's so much fun to be getting it done

Doctor:
I can't sign this for insurance. His original doctor needs to sign this.

We go back to the doctor
To get that thing for insurance
Then go back to insurance...

*Silence*

Insurance worker:
We need you to get a second opinion from a doctor who's in network.

Kyle:
Ugh.

We're navigating the American health care system
Now just watch us go
We're getting things done, taking care of our health...

Secretary:
We need these filled out and then faxed to your insurance company.

We're filling out forms
And we're scanning those forms
And then we're emailing those forms
To get them back to insurance

*Silence*

Insurance worker:
We need confirmation from a different specialist.

Let's go and navigate the American health care system
It's the best system of them all...

Kyle:
No, we already talked to the insurance company. They were supposed to talk to you.

And we go back to the doctor
We go back to the specialist
Who talks to the insurance company
That faxes the medical advisor
Who's on a boat in the Maldives

Medical advisor:
No.

And we're going in one place
And we're getting out the other place
And we're back over here now
And I was just over there
And I'm getting confused and it's getting dark
And my mind is all different colors
And I think I'm lost.

Butters:
Hey fellas, I think I'm lost in the American health care system. Fellas? Fellas?! Help!

International Lyrics

CS

Czech lyrics

Translation

Zmapujeme americké zdravotnictví Je tu pro nás pro všechny Uzdravíme se, buďme silní A tak zdraví Jak to jen jde Zmapujeme americké zdravotnictví Čeka nás spousta legrace Vrátíme se k doktorovi aby to pojišťovně podepsal A pak zas na pojišťovnu a... Zmapujeme americké zdravotnictví A už jsme na cestě Zvládneme to pečujeme o zdraví Vyplňujeme papíry, a pak je naskenujeme A pak je pošleme emailem, a počkáme na pojišťovnu Zmapujeme americké zdravotnictví To je nejlepší systém ze všech A tak se vracíme k doktorovi, a pak za specialistou Ten dá vědět pojišťovně, odfaxuje to posudkovému lékaři Kdo je na lodi na Maledivách A tak trajdáme Z místa na místo A jsme tu zas, a jsme tu zas A jsme zmatení A už se stmívá A v hlavě mám všelijaké barvy Asi jsem se ztratil Butters: Hej, hoši, asi jsem se ztratil v americkém zdravotnictví? Hoši? Pomoc!

We're navigating the American healthcare system It's here for us all Get well, get strong And stay healthy As long as we can We're navigating the American healthcare system We're having a lot of fun We're going back to the doctor to sign it off to the insurance company And then back to the insurance company and... We're navigating the American healthcare system And we're on our way We can do it, we care about our health We fill out the paperwork, then scan it And then email it, and wait for the insurance company We're navigating the American healthcare system It's the best system ever So we go back to the doctor, and then to the specialist He will let the insurance company know, he will fax it to the examining doctor Who is on the boat in the Maldives And so we wander From place to place And here we are again, and here we are again And we're getting confused And it's getting dark And I have all sorts of colors in my head I think I'm lost Butters: Hey fellas, I think I'm lost in the American health care system. Fellas? Help!