U Can't Touch This
"U Can't Touch This" is a hip-hop song by MC Hammer. It was featured in the Season Six episode "The Simpsons Already Did It", and again in the Season Nineteen episode "Naughty Ninjas".
Background
Following the news report of Diane Choksondik's death from semen in "The Simpsons Already Did It", the boys think that they had killed Choksondik with their "sea men", and decide to visit the morgue and steal the evidence. The boys give Tweek Tweak the role of look-out man, with the code word "Hammertime" if he sees someone approaching. Tweek had to mutter the lyrics before calling out the code word, prompting the boys to make their escape.
In "Naughty Ninjas", the prevalence of the SoDoSoPa Ninjas caught the attention of ISIS. While in contact with an ISIS member, Eric Cartman asks if having a Jew be a ninja is problematic, to which the member replies "extremely". In response, Eric Cartman begins dancing with the song playing in the background.
Lyrics
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
My, my, my my music hits me so hard
Makes me say, "Oh my Lord"
Thank you for blessin' me
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
It feels good, when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch
I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)
Yeah, that's how we livin' and ya know (You can't touch this)
Look in my eyes, man (You can't touch this)
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this)
Fresh new kicks, and pants
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance
So move outta yo seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rollin', hold on!
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's goin' on
Like that, like that
Cold on a mission, so fall on back
Let 'em know, that you're too much
And this is a beat, uh, they can't touch
Yo, I told you (you can't touch this)
Why you standin' there, man? (You can't touch this)
Yo, sound the bell, school's in, sucka (You can't touch this)
Give me a song, or rhythm
Makin' 'em sweat, that's what I'm givin' 'em
Now, they know
You talkin' 'bout the Hammer, you're talkin' 'bout a show
That's hyped, and tight
Singers are sweatin', so pass them a wipe
Or a tape, to learn
What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn
The charts? Legit
Either work hard or you might as well quit
That's word because you know (You can't touch this)
(You can't touch this)
Break it down!
Stop, Hammer time!
Go with the flow, it is said
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead
So wave yo hands in the air
Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair
This is it, for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
(Bump, bump, bump)
Yeah (You can't touch this)
Look, man (You can't touch this)
You better get hype, boy, 'cause you know you can't (You can't touch this)
Ring the bell, school's back in
Break it down!
Stop, Hammer time!
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
Break it down!
Stop, Hammer time!
Every time you see me, the Hammer's just so hyped
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doin' this?
With others makin' records that just don't hit
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
Yeah (You can't touch this)
I told you (Can't touch this)
Too hot (Can't touch this)
Yo, we outta here (Can't touch this)