Too Fat Polka
The "Too Fat Polka", also known as "She's Too Fat for Me", was played in the Season Five episode, "Cripple Fight". It is a famous comedy song from 1947.
Background
Because he is homosexual, Big Gay Al was replaced as the the boys Mountain Scouts leader. As a result, Al became depressed, spending his time eating ice cream, wearing a bathrobe, and refusing to leave his home. To help him cope, Big Gay Al invited piano player Marc Shaiman to play sad songs for him. When Al requested that he play happier music, Marc plays this song. Al makes him stop after the first verse.
Lyrics
Here's a silly ditty,
You can sing it right away,
Now, here is what you say
So sing it while you may
Here's a silly jingle,
You can sing it night or noon
Here's the words, that's all you need
'Cause I just sang the tune:
Oh, I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
She's too fat
She's too fat for me
I get dizzy
I get numbo
When I'm dancing
With my Jum-Jum-Jumbo
I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
She's too fat
She's too fat for me
Can she prance up a hill?
No, no, no, no, no
Can she dance a quadrille?
No, no, no, no, no
Does she fit in your coupe?
By herself she's a group
Could she possibly
Sit upon your knee?
No, no, no
We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
And she's too fat for me
But she's just right for me
We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
Yeah, she's too fat,
Much too fat
But she's just right for me
She's so charming
And she's so winning
But it's alarming
When she goes in swimming
We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
But she's just right for me
So I sure want her, you can't have her
She's just right for me
But she's too fat!
She's not too fat!
She's just right for me!
She's a twosome,
She's a foursome
If she'd lose some
I would like her more some
I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
Much too fat
She's too fat for me
Hey!