The Chains of Super Craig/Script
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"Alternate Universes Collide/Script" | "The Chains of Super Craig/Script" | "Birth of a Coon Friend/Script" | 
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Cast
Script
| The Chains of Super Craig | |
| The New Kid approaches Craig's house | |
| [via video communication] Soon, you will be approaching Super Craig's Fortress of Solitude. Super Craig hasn't checked in, I hope nothing's wrong... | |
| The New Kid knocks on the door, with Super Craig answering | |
| Greetings, citizen. It is I, [right fist on the air] Super Craig! | |
| The New Kid stares at Super Craig | |
| I'm sorry, but I cannot assist anyone with their problems right now. [right fist on the air] Super Craig can't find his guinea pig. Go tell The Coon that I'm not playing until I find Stripe. He's not just a normal guinea pig. He belongs to me and my ex-boyfriend. That's right, [right fist on the air] Super Craig is gay. I'll bet Stripe is down at the basement again. | |
| The cutscene ends as the New Kid enters the house | |
| We should start in the basement. That's the last place I saw him. | |
| As the boys approach the door leading to the basement | |
| I'm thinking maybe he smelled the dog food downstairs. Trammalian guinea pigs move very slowly due to the low gravity on their home planet. But their sense of smell is the most highly developed in the universe. | |
| The New Kid opens the door and heads down to the basement | |
| I'll stand by the stairs and keep him from escaping. You do the rest, Butthole. Be careful. This is probably the most challenging mission you've ever been given. | |
| As the New Kid explores the basement, Super Craig finds Stripe hiding in a vent above their heads | |
| Look, there he is! In the vent! Way up high. | |
| When the New Kid picks up a box of Snap N Pops, an explosion bubble bearing the words "Snap N Pops Unlocked" displays on the screen | |
| Oh, sweet. Those might be handy. You're welcome. | |
| The New Kid takes a Snap N Pop and throws it at the vent, dislodging its cover, with Stripe hanging on the edge | |
| Whoa, almost! Do it again! | |
| If the New Kid stalls at this stage | |
| Chuck another one! | |
| The New Kid throws another Snap N Pop, knocking Stripe off. | |
| Whoa! There he goes! [Stripe runs off to another hiding spot behind a blue box to the left] Follow that guinea pig! | |
| The New Kid destroys the blue box in one punch | |
| You just smashed that box like it was nothing. Amazing! [Stripe takes another spot right above a box of firecrackers] Quick! Hit that box with your thing! | |
| With another Snap N Pops, the firecrackers goes off at once, setting a small explosion and scaring Stripe away. | |
| Whoa, shit! I can't believe you just did that! You're so good at this! | |
| Stripe now takes a new hiding spot behind a brown basket | |
| Move that thing out of the way! | |
| If the New Kid stalls at this stage | |
| Hurry! Do your thing or he won't come out until he gets hungry! | |
| The New Kid does so | |
| Wow, that looked like it required so much skill! | |
| Stripe runs off to another vent just beside Super Craig | |
| Use the power of your ass to overwhelm his supersensitive smell. | |
| The New Kid farts on the vent, and in response, Stripe leaves the vent, struggling to crawl away, before it collapses at last. Super Craig picks up Stripe, gently stroking it. | |
| Yes, Stripe, a brilliant rescue! But it wasn't just me. We have Buttlord and his sickening asshole to thank. [He places Stripe back into its pen] You did it, newbie. If you ever need help you can count on [right fist on the air] Super Craig. | |
| Combat Buddy unlocked: Super Craig | |
| End of The Chains of Super Craig | |