The Losing Edge/Script

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"Best Friends Forever/Script"

"The Losing Edge/Script"

"The Death of Eric Cartman/Script"

Cast

• South Park Little League Baseball Team
  • Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Broflovski
  • Eric Cartman
  • Butters Stotch
  • Clyde Donovan
  • Tolkien Black
  • Craig Tucker
  • Jimmy Valmer
• Announcers
• Umpires
• Mr. Varcas
• Allen Varcas
• Roger Donovan
• Richard Tweak
• Stephen Stotch
• Gerald Broflovski
• Sheila Broflovski
• Randy Marsh
• Sharon Marsh
• Mr. Pratt
• Morgan Pratt
• Brian
• Greeley Father
• Pueblo Father
• Tom Pusslicker
• Chris Swollenballs
• Tom "Bat Dad" Nelson
• Fort Collins Little League Team
• Pueblo Little League Baseball Team
• Denver Little League Team
• Kyle Schwartz

Script

The Losing Edge
	A baseball field in scenic Rocky Mountain territory. Stan is on the pitching mound
Kyle	[infield, right] This is it, Stan. If you strike this kid out, we all get to go home.
	Announcer's booth
Local announcer 1	Now batting for Conifer is little Allen Varcas. [Allen gets ready to swing]
	The bleachers
Randy	Heeey batterbatterbatterbatter heydn no hit no hit can't hit can't hit can't hit it can't hit it can't hit it.
Mr. Varcas	Hit it out of the park, Allen! South Park sucks!
Roger	Just look at those boys out there, lovin' the great game of baseball like we did when we were kids. [sips]
	the field
Kyle	Aw God, I'm so borrred. [Tolkien yawns over at first base]
Butters	I see a ladybug- Hello lady ladybug. [Stan simple stretches out his left arm and catches the ball, then pitches it to Alan. Alan swings and misses]
Umpire	Strike.
Mr. Varcas	That was no strike! What the hell is wrong with you, ref?
Randy	Good call, ref! Good call!
Mr. Varcas	Come on, Allen! This pitcher throws like a girl!
Randy	What'd you say?!
Mr. Varcas	You heard me, asshole!
Randy	You want me to kick your ass right here?! [Mr. Barkas stands and looks at him]
Sharon	Randy, sit down.
Mr. Varcas	You want a piece of me?! 'Cause I'm pretty sick of your Goddamned mouth!
Randy	[takes off his shirt and throws it aside and challengers] Whattaya wanna do, huh? Whattaya wanna do?
Sharon	Randy, don't!
Mr. Varcas	You'd better shut up, asshole!
Randy	I'm standin' right here! How do you wanna handle it?
Mr. Varcas	I told you to SHUT UP! [throws his beer at Randy. Randy takes his beer and throws it at Mr. Barkas. They start fighting back and forth. Stan looks on from the pitcher's mound]
Stan	[turns away and hides his face in his right hand] Aw Jesus, not again.
Kyle	Come on, Stan! Just strike this kid out so we can end the season! [Stan puts on his game face and throws the pitch. Alan swings and misses]
Umpire	Strike three! You're out!
Stan	Yes! It's over! It's over!
Local announcer 1	That's it. South Park wins the game 4 to 0.
Cartman	[runs to the mound] We're done! No more baseball!
Kyle	No more boring baseball until next year!
Stan	We can start having fun again! [falls to the ground and rolls around]
Cartman	All right, we did it! [the rest of the team shows up and celebrates]
Stan	We did it! We did it!
Stephen	[as the coach, arrives] Yeah, we did it, boys! We did it! We're going to the finals! Woohoo! [the boys stop cheering and look at him]
Stan	... What?
Stephen	Well we won! That means we've got the best record in the division! [the parents rush onto the field]
Gerald	Congratulations, boys! You're goin' on to the post-season. Woohoo!
Cartman	Post-season?
Kyle	Nobody said anything about a post-season.
Tom	[Craig's Dad] There's more little-league baseball for South Park! Yehheah! [the adults begin celebrating while the kids are dumb-struck]
Stan	No... NOOO!!
	Outside, after the game. Randy is hauled off to a waiting Conifer patrol car, drunk and tattered. His pants are down to his ankles
Randy	This is for what?! Arresting me for what?! I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?! I thought this was America! Huh?! Isn't this America?! I'm sorry, I thought this was America! [he's put into the back seat]
	Whistlin' Willy's, night. The boys are gathered there for a pizza dinner
Kyle	I can't believe it. I can't believe we have to keep on playing.
Cartman	Nobody told us if we win too many games we'd go on to the finals!
Stan	Look, you guys, maybe it's not all that bad.
Craig	Not all that bad? How could you say that?! You hate this game more than any of us!
Stan	I know, but listen: the finals are all sudden-death elimination, right? That means as soon as we lose one game, our season is over.
Butters	Well yeah, but... we usually win.
Craig	All the other teams are worse than us.
Jimmy	Yeah. Let's face it, we're winners.
Stan	I know we can lose if we try.
Kyle	You mean, throw the game? You know how our parents are about this sport.
Butters	Yeah. My dad always said "It's Okay to lose, but if you don't try, wuh you're grounded, Mister."
The other boys	Yeah, uh huh.
Stan	Okay, so then we'll just tell the other team quietly that we're gonna let them win, and then we'll act like we're trying. Our parents will never know.
Butters	We'd better hope they never know, or else there's gonna be heck to pay. Heck, I tell ya!
	At the entrance of Whistlin' Willy's, the adults are gathered, relaxing
Gerald	Boy, that was great, wasn't it?!
Roger	Yeah, our boys really stuck it to 'em! [the doors open and Randy walks in]
Randy	Heeey!
Men	Heeey!
Stephen	You're out. [hands Randy a beer]
Gerald	How much was bail this time? [hands Randy a beer]
Randy	Hundred bucks, no big whoop.
Richard	Boy, you really beat the crap out of that Conifer dad.
Randy	Well somebody had to put that knucklehead in his place.
Stephen	Yeah, well, you'd better watch yourself in the playoffs.
Randy	Wha-what do you mean?
Stephen	I mean, you always get in a fight with scrappy redneck dads up here in the mountains, but some of those Division Two dads are tough!
Gerald	Yeah, those dads get REALLY drunk and obnoxious.
Randy	I can fight anybody. I just need to train. I just need to get in the best shape of my life.
	The master bedroom at the Marsh house. The alarm clock clicks 7:30 and the radio comes on
DJ	...the Beatles in the White Album in Helter Skelter. Okay- [Randy clicks the radio off]
	Randy rises from the bed and sits up, leaves the bed and shrugs, and wipes his nose a bit. He enters the kitchen, gets a glass, then goes to the refrigerator. He gets three eggs, cracks them open on the rim of the glass, and pours them into the glass. He picks up the glass and moves off a bit, then pours the eggs into a hot pan and scrambles them. He then picks up a beer, drinks, burps, and farts
	Fort Collins baseball field, night
FC announcer	We want to welcome all South Park parents to Fort Collins, and the Little League Division One Playoffs. [applause all around as the teams meet on the field]
Stan	Uhh, hey guys, look, we don't wanna win, so uh, [pulls out a yellow sheet of paper] here's a list of all the pitches I'm gonna throw, in order.
FC team	Ooooo!
FC fat player	I don't think so, South Park
FC pitcher	Yeah, you think we wanna win? Then we have to keep playing this boring game!
FC team	Yeah!
Kyle	You hate this game too?
FC batter	Yeah! And then we won the stupid regionals and had to do this lousy-ass tournament!
FC catcher	We wanna play video games.
Butters	Oh no!
Stan	Look! We're gonna be the losers tonight, all right?!
FC pitcher	I don't think so! There's no way you can lose to us! We're going doowwn! We're gonna get creeaamed!
Kyle	No, we're gonna get creamed!
FC batter	We'll just see about that!
SP team	Oh yeah?
FC team	Yeah!
Randy	Oh boy, they're really gettin' into each other's heads out there. [standa and claps] Yeah! Let's go, South Park! These Fort Collins kids got nothin'! Wooo!
Mr. Pratt	[claps] Come on, Fort Collins! Let 'em have it! Yeah!
Randy	[nudges Sharon] Guess that's my guy. I can take him, no problem. [drinks. On the field, Fort Collins is up at bat]
Cartman	All right, hit one out of the park!
FC announcer	And first up for Fort Collins is... Morgan Pratt.
Randy	Heeey batterbatterbatterbatter batteruuuuuuuupp batterbatterbatterbatter!
Mr. Pratt	Knock it out of the park, Morgan! Cream these turds! [Morgan gets ready to swing, Stan sends his pitch and Cartman catches. Morgan does not swing]
Umpire	Steerike!
Randy	Yeah!
FC team	Yeah, all right!
Stan	Damnit!
Cartman	[sends the ball back to Stan] Come on, kid, you gotta at least swing at it.
Morgan	No way! I'm striking out!
Kyle	Dude, he's not gonna swing! So just throw balls. That way he'll have to walk to first base. [Stan thinks, then throws the pitch. It goes wide and Cartman catches it]
Umpire	Ball!
Cartman	All right! [throws it back to Stan]
FC pitcher	Morgan!
Morgan	[looks over] What?
FC pitcher	You have to swing when it's a ball, otherwise, you're gonna walk to first base. Don't swing, only if it's a strike!
Morgan	[faces the dugout] Well how the Sam Hell am I supposed to know if he's gonna be throwing a strike or a ball?!
FC pitcher	You just have to guess.
Morgan	Aw, Jesus! [turns around and goes back to bat. Stan looks to Cartman for cues]
Cartman	Ball. Balll. [Stan pitches right down the middle]
Umpire	Steerike two!
Stan	No!
Cartman	That was no strike, that was a terrible pitch! You need some Goddamned lasik surgery!
Randy	Attaway, South Park! They ain't swingin' at nothin'!
Mr. Pratt	Come on Fort Collins! This team can't pitch! [Stan pitches, Morgan hits] There you go, Morgan! Run run run!
Morgan	Aw damnit! [heads to first base]
FC pitcher	Why the hell did you swing at it?!
Morgan	Well I thought he was gonna throw a ball that time! [Fort Collins is ahead 1-0. Another FC batter comes up...]
Umpire	Strike three! You're out!
FC batter 1	All right!
	Later. Fort Collins is pitching; The pitch is wide as Cartman waits at bat
Umpire	Ball four!
Cartman	What?!
Randy	Walk to first! Woo!
Cartman	[throws his bat down and walks] Aw Goddamnit! [as Cartman walks to first, anotherr SP runner walks home]
Umpire	Safe!
Kyle	Crud! [the scorekeeper updates the board]
Randy	Fort Collins can't play!
Mr. Pratt	Why don't you shut your mouth before I kick your ass!
Randy	[gets up and takes off his shirt] Come on, let's go! I'm right here!
Sharon	Randy...
Mr. Pratt	Sit down before you get hurt! [Randy throws his beer at him] Mother bitch! [the two men begin fighting on the bleachers]
Stan	[sees, turns away and hides his face in his right hand] Goddamnit... [the men have taken the fight to the field and are next to a trashcan. Stan pitches and the FC batter fails to swing]
Umpire	Strike three! [The South Park adults stand up and cheer. The next scenes go into time-lapse: more runs are added until the final score is reached: 4 - 3]
FC announcer	That's it. South Park wins the game. [the Fort Collins team cheers]
Stan	Aw spit! [throws his mitt down on the mound. His father is arrested again with his pants around his ankles and hauled towards a waiting patrol car]
Randy	[slurred] Oh I'm sorry! Why don'tcha get 'im on chars in America, I'm sorry!
	Greeley, CO, day, Greeley Field, home of the Tigers. Stan pitches, the Greeley batter chases a pitch
Umpire	Strike three. You're out.
Greeley batter	[leaves] Yeah!
Greeley team	All right! Yeah! Woohoo!
Greeley man	Goddamnit Brian, swing!
Randy	Greeley sucks! Greeley sucks!
	South Park is up. Its batter sees a ball and doesn't swing
Umpire	Ball four!
Butters	Aw hamburgers. [throws his bat aside]
SP team	God! [Randy takes off his shirt, challenges, and the two men begin to fight]
	on the field. The Greeley batter doesn't swing
Umpire	Strike three!
Cartman	How the hell was that a strike?! [starts kicking dirt on the umpire] Goddamnit, he's going to first!
	After the game. Randy is hauled off a third time
Randy	What, is this a Communist country or something?! I thought this was America!
	Pueblo, CO. day. A Pueblo batter swings and misses
Umpire	¡Strrrrike tres! ("Strrrrike three!")
Pueblo team	Bueno bueno! Bueno! Espectacular! ("Good good! Good! Spectacular!")
Pueblo dad	¡Vamonos Pueblo! ¡Viva la Pueblo! ("Let's go Pueblo! Long live Pueblo!")
Randy	[using a Spanish textbook for assistance] ¡Pueblo, no bueno! ¡Pueblo es muy mal! ("Pueblo, not good! Pueblo is very bad!") [a pitch is sent to an SP batter, who doesn't swing]
Umpire	¡Ball cuatro, por favor! ("Ball four, please!") [the scoreboard is updated, Randy fights with the Pueblo dad and is hauled off a fourth time]
Randy	This is America! This is an honest America!
	Whistlin' Willy's. The team is at table again, but with a trophy they didn't want. The adults begin to approach them
Stephen	Can you believe it, boys?! We're playing in the State Championship Game! [the adults cheer]
Gerald	We're so proud of you kids!
Cartman	What happens if we win the State Championship game?
Stephen	Well, then your whole season starts over, but on the national circuit! You get to spend your whole summer playing baseball!
Kyle	What?
Mr. Donovan	You could do it, kids! We know you can win State!
Stephen	Then we'll spend the whole summer going to Nebraska, and to Iowa, and Wyoming.
Stan	Oh no. No, no, no!
	Outside the restaurant, day. Randy stands by the curb looking into space. He has a black eye. The doors open and Stan walks out
Stan	Dad? Dad, we need to talk.
Randy	[doesn't move] Can you believe it, Stan? State Championship game. It's... the greatest thing ever.
Stan	[sighs] Goddamnit. [goes back into the restaurant]
Randy	I've worked hard, believed in myself, and now I'm gonna be fighting in a State Championship game. [smiles] This is gonna be the biggest fight of my life.
	South Park News
Announcer	This is News 4, at noon.
	Coors Field, in Denver
Anchor Tom	The Colorado Little League State Championship is being played this week. Two teams of youngsters get to go head to head at the major-league stadium downtown.
Reporter	Tom, I'm standing here with the little sluggers and some of their parents, and I can't tell you how excited they are.
Stan	I don't suppose you guys want to win this game.
Denver player	Win? Why the hell would we want to win?
Denver player 2	Yeah. Then we'd have to play this boring game all summer.
Reporter	[draws closer to the teams] Little Stan Marsh is the pitcher for the South Park Little League team, and Stan, how does it feel to be playing for the State Championship?
Stan	Gay.
Reporter	Mr. Marsh, you must be very proud of your son.
Randy	They've worked really hard to get here, Chris, and, you know, I don't like to really "trash-talk," but, I don't think Denver has a chance.
Reporter Chris	Oho, well, I'm sure some of the Denver kids' parents would disagree with you and your team-
Bat dad	[blue headdress and cape, pops in] Oh yeah! Oh yeah! [leaps closer to the camera] South Park is goin' down! Feel it comin'! [humps back to Randy] You ain't got a chance, South Park! Here we go, Denver, here we go! Huh, huh!
Sheila	Who's that?
A woman	That's Tom Nelson, one of the Denver players' fathers. He goes to every game in that ridiculous outfit and usually drinks too much and gets into a fight.
Tom Nelson	There ain't no way some little mountain kids can beat Denver. Not with my son on second base!
Reporter Chris	Oho, looks like we got some parental trash talking going on here. Mr. Marsh, any comments?
Randy	Well I think that there's a uh...
Tom Nelson	Mr. Marsh? Who wants to hear from a Mr. Marsh?! Iii am the ultimate Little League trash-talking father! Iii am the Bat Dad!
Denver cop	[one of two come to take him away] All right, Mr. Nelson, let's go, come on.
Tom Nelson	Bat Dad knows no fear! Bat Dad knows no pain! I want you, Marsh! I want you!!
Reporter Chris	Well, tension is certainly high here, but I guess everything will be decided on the playing field.
Randy	[realizing he could end up like that] Oh my God.
Denver player 3	Good luck! You're gonna need it.
Denver player 4	Yeah, you can't lose to us. We're terrible. [the Denver team leaves, as do all the adults]
Kyle	Dude, what are we gonna do? We can't win this game.
Cartman	Wait. I've got it, you guys. A fifth point in a sports movie, the team always goes out and finds a really sweet player to join their team.
Clyde	Like that motorcycle kid in Bad News Bears.
Cartman	Exactly right, Clyde. So what we need... is to find somebody to join our team, who totally sucks ass.
Stan	Hey yeah. We need to find the very worst kid athlete in the whole world. Somebody who can't possibly win.
Craig	But who?
Kyle	I know who.
	The airport, day
Announcer	Announcing the arrival of flight six seven three, from New York City. [among the people leaving the airport is Kyle's cousin, Kyle]
Kyle Schwartz	I'm baaack!
Kyle	There he is! Now, don't let him know we think he's a loser, or else he won't play. [the team goes up to greet him]
Kyle Schwartz	Hello, cousin Kyle. Oh Jesus, that flight was terrible. They served a chicken dish with hot sauce and it gave me gas.
Kyle	Dude, thanks for helping us out by joining our team.
Kyle Schwartz	Well, you said you needed my help to win the big game, so here I am. I'll need a wipe cloth if I'm gonna play, though. Sometimes I sweat from holding the bat for so long and then the heat steams up my glasses.
Craig	He's perfect.
Stan	Yeah, with him on our team, we don't stand a chance.
	Coors Field. No one is in there except Randy, who walks along the stands looking around. He sees a sign that sais "Colorado Little League State Championship." He moves along. Next, he's at a beach far from Colorado looking at the sunset. He sneaks back into his bedroom as Sharon sleeps, closes the door softly, and sits on the side of the bed.
Randy	[softly] ...I'm not gonna go. [Sharon's eyes opem, and she rises a bit]
Sharon	What?
Randy	Stan's little league game, I'm... I'm not gonna go.
Sharon	Why?
Randy	I just... don't think I can, all right?
Sharon	You don't think you can?! This is the biggest game of your son's life! Why wouldn't you go and support him? What-? [Randy rises and faces her]
Randy	Because I'm scared, all right?! [Sharon stays quiet] You wanna break me down?! You wanna hear me say it?! I'm scared! I don't know if I believe in myself anymore. [turns away and bows his head] I don't know if I can take this guy, Sharon.
Sharon	So then, don't. You don't have to get in fights with other parents at Little League games! Just sit there and watch!
Randy	Look, I get what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to realize that I have to fight him because it's who I am.
Sharon	No, I'm telling you you don't have to get thrown out of games and make an ass of yourself.
Randy	I've lost the edge. I'm sorry, Sharon. But you have to take Stan to his Little League game alone. [walks off]
	Coors Field, day
Announcer	Welcome to the Colorado Little League State Championship Game! [the crowd cheers] This must be pretty exciting for these youngsters. A chance to go to the national circuit. [the teams meet at the pitcher's mound]
Denver pitcher	You know what these guys look like to me? A bunch of winners!
Denver catcher	Yeah! We're about to get our asses kicked!
Cartman	I don't think so! You guys are way too good! You're the best at this game!
Denver pitcher	You're the best!
Kyle	You guys are so good you'll probably go all the way to win the national title!
Denver pitcher	Not a chance, 'cause we're gonna lose to you right now!
Bat Dad	Here we go, Denver! These South Park kids got nothin' on you! Let's go, Denver!
Woman	Chris, will you sit down?
Announcer	[in the Press Box] First up to bat for South Park, Kyle Schwartz. [Kyle 1 comes up to bat]
Kyle Schwartz	[stands on home plate] Where do I stand?
Umpire	R-right over here. [Kyle 1 looks, then goes to one side of the plate with his back to the pitcher. The umpire positions him properly]
Kyle Schwartz	Don't throw the ball too fast, because I might get startled and I have asthma. [The pitcher throws the ball. Kyle 1 pulls his bat back]
Umpire	Strike 1!
SP team	Yeah! All right!
Kyle Schwartz	Jesus, not so close! That was three feet from hitting me in the head!
Second baseman	He's not gonna swing! Throw balls!
Kyle Schwartz	[swings and misses] Oh Jesus!
Umpire	Strike 2!
SP team	Yeah!
Stan	Wow, he IS great at sucking.
Cartman	[happily] We're gonna lose! We're gonna lose!
Kyle Schwartz	Don't throw it so hard or so close next time! Is it cold out here? I think I need a jacket. [The pitcher squints and focuses on the bat, which says "Barry Bonds" on it. The pitcher throws the ball and hits the bat, which falls out of Kyle Schwartz's hands]
Umpire	It's a bunt!
Roger	Run kid, run!
Kyle Schwartz	Oh Jesus! [runs towards first base]
Kyle	Aw crap! [Stan drops. Kyle 1 goes towards second and no one is stopping him. He passes it]
Kyle Schwartz	[out of breath] I can't, I can't keep running like this! I have corns in my feet!
Stephen	Keep running, kid! [one of the SP players has his face buried in his right hand]
Bat Dad	Throw the ball to third, you idiots! He's runnin' home! [Kyle 1 heads towards home and passes that]
Umpire	Safe! [the crowd cheers and the scoreboard displays him and "HOMERUN!!!!" underneath. Smaller screens on the board display fireworks]
Kyle Schwartz	Oh Jesus, did you see that? I hit a homerun! High-five, everybody! [nobody high-fives him]
Kyle	Oh my God... their pitcher was able to hit him right on the bat.
Stan	Dude, we had it all wrong. While we spent all our time trying to make our team suck, these guys practiced and got really good at sucking. [next pitch: the ball hits the bat again, and the SP runner has to go to first, as it's a bunt. Tolkien goes up. The pitch hits the bat at the top - another bunt]
Tolkien	No!
Mr. Williams	Yeeaahh! Go Tolkien go!
	Denver is up to bat
Bat Dad	All right, Denver! You're up to bat now! [Butters is waving his hand for some reason, and the Danver batter squints and focuses on Butters' glove. Stan pitches, the batter hits, and Butters catches the ball. He's dismayed to find it in his glove.]
Umpire	Out!
Denver team	Yaaay!
Kyle	Jesus Christ! They can bat themselves out! [the scoreboard is updated in time-lapse: Denver doesn't have a run on there.] Our whole summer, dude. We have to play this boring game all summer long.
Butters	[frustrated, takes his cap off and throws it on the ground] Son of a biscuit!
	Coors field, later
Announcer	It's the bottom of the last inning here at Coors Field; the score is South Park 23, Denver 0. [a tired Stan pitches right down the middle and the Denver player doesn't move]
Umpire	Strike 1!
Bat Dad	Come on, Denver! Get the lead out! Do not cross the Bat Daaad!
Gerald	Geez I really wish this guy would shut up.
Bat Dad	Why don't you just go home, South Park? You can't beat Denver!
A voice	Denver sucks ass! [Bat Dad looks over. Randy has arrived with a tray of five beers. He's ready to rumble. He sits three rows behind Bat Dad, next to Sharon] Come on, South Park! These kids can't play! In fact, these kids are terrible! [Stan pitches, the batter swings after Cartman catches the ball]
Umpire	Strike 2!
Kyle Schwartz	Oh Jesus, we're gonna win! I I never won a sport before; this is so exciting.
Randy	It's over, Denver! South Park whupped your ass!
Bat Dad	You'd better shut your mouth before I shut it for you!
Randy	[stands up, takes off his shirt, and challenges] What do you wanna do, huh? [Bat Dad climbs over the seats and he and Randy begin to fight, taking it to the aisle]
Stan	[sees, turns away and hides his face in his right hand] This can't get any worse. [the two men continue fighting at the bottom of the level and towards the foul pole. Bat Dad picks Randy up and throws him over the railing. Randy bounces off a bench, breaking it in two.]
Bat Dad	[stands on the railing and spreads his cape wide open] Now for the finishing move! You're about to be Bat-Dadded! [jumps off, but misses Randy entirely. They end up in the bullpen.]
Commentator	It all comes down to this! South Park is just one pitch away from being State Champions. [Bat Dad delivers blow after blow and has Randy on the run] Oh geez, it looks like two parents are fighting. They'd better be careful. The Little League has a no-tolerance policy.
Umpire	[comes out of home plate towards the men] Stop! Stop, or you're gonna get your teams disqualified!
Stan	[comes off the mound and stands next to Kyle] Disqualified? [looks at Kyle for a few seconds] Fight! Keep fighting! [the fighting continues, and two more umpires enter the picture]
Umpire 2	Break it up! Break it up! [the fighting continues. Bat Dad delivers a blow, shown in slow motion. It connects, and Randy falls backwards to the ground] That's enough! The next person that fights is getting his team disqualified!
Bat Dad	He's done for anyway. [walks off. Randy rises, slowly]
Stan	Come on, Dad! Get up!
Kyle	Get up! You have to fight! [Randy is trying]
Umpire 2	All right, come on! Let's play ball!
SP team	Randy! Randy! Randy!
Mickey	Get up, Randy! Get up, ya bum!
Sharon	Get up, Randy! Fight! Fight for me!
Crowd	Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!
Randy	[now standing] Hey Bat Dad! [Bat Dad turns around] I didn't hear no bell.
SP team	Yeah! [Randy goes on the attack, delivering blow after blow. The umpire and guard return]
Umpire 2	Stop, stop right now! [Randy continues the assault] I'm warning you, sir! [Randy begins singing in falsetto, then knocks Bat Dad to the ground with one final blow.] That's it! That's it! South Park is disqualified!
SP team	Yeah!
SP adults	Aww!
Commentator	South Park has been disqualified from the game! Denver wins! [The South Park team goes over to Randy, take off their hats, and celebrate their defeat. The Denver players are dismayed at this turn of events and throw down their caps. Two Denver officers come in to get Randy]
Kyle Schwartz	We... We lost?
Randy	[now arrested and turned around] What? I thought this was a free country! [now being escorted out of the Field]
Stan	Dad! [the guards let go and Randy turns around] You're the greatest. [Randy leaps for joy!]
End of The Losing Edge