Wendy's Audition Song

"Wendy's Audition Song" was a song written and performed by Wendy Testaburger in the Season Four episode, "Something You Can Do with Your Finger".

Background

Wendy auditions for part of the fifth member of the boy band, Fingerbang. Eric Cartman protests it, however, Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh override him, thus letting her sing.

Wendy was accepted into the group because of the song she performed; which is a more explicit version of the schoolyard song "Miss Susie". A boy that resembles Schroeder from the Peanuts comic strip supplies the music accompaniment for her audition.

Lyrics

Mrs. Landers was a health nut.
She cooked food in a wok.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend,
and he had a great big-

Cock-a-doodle-doodle.
The rooster just won't quit,
and I don't want my breakfast,
because it tastes like-

Shih Tzus make good house pets.
They're cuddly and sweet.
Monkeys aren't good to have,
'cause they like to beat their-

Meeting in the office.
A meeting in the hall.
The boss, he wants to see you,
so you can suck his-

Balzac was a writer.
He lived with Allen Funt.
Mrs. Roberts didn't like him,
but that's 'cause she's a-

Contaminated water,
can really make you sick.
Your bladder gets infected,
and blood comes out your-

Dictate what I'm saying,
'cause it will bring you luck,
and if you all don't like it,
I don't give a flying fuck!

International Lyrics

DEESES-LAFRJAZH-TW

German lyrics

Translation

Miiis-suuus Landers mag Gesundes. Sie kochte eine Gans. Mr. Harris war ihr Liebster - und der hat 'nen großen Schwanzbewehrten Hamster, der ist total auf Zack. Und ich mag heut' kein Frühstück, es schmeckt genau wie Kakerlaken wandern in einem Gänsemarsch. Affen kann man schlecht erzieh'n, denn sie zeigen ihren Archeologen spielen mit Steinen Tag für Tag. Und ihre Sekretärin lutscht gerne ihren Sag, kennst du den Shakespeare? Er machte Frauen nervös. Mrs. Roberts sah das gerne und kratzte ihre Möhsentaler Beine, die meide besser ganz. Sie geh'n voll auf die Blase und Blut läuft aus dem Schwanz und Hasenpfote, die gibt es dünn und dick. Ich bin jetzt durch und freu mich schon amf einen schönen Fick!

Mrs. Landers likes healthy food. She cooked a goose. Mr. Harris was her lover, and he had a huge... Tail-armed hamster that's totally on the ball. And I don't like breakfast today, it tastes like... Cockroaches travel in a single file. Monkeys are difficult to train because they show their... Archeologists play with stones every day. And her secretary likes to suck her... Say, do you know Shakespeare? He makes women nervous. Mrs. Roberts was happy to see this and scratched her... <>, it's better to avoid them altogether. They hit your bladder and blood runs out of... Tail and hare's foot, they are thin and thick. I'm done now and I'm looking forward to a nice fuck!

Spanish (Spain) lyrics

Translation

Yo soy muy comilona, me gusta comer bien A mi novio le gusta, verme comer También los dos comemos, comemos comomemos Y Cuanto más comemos, mucho más nos Quemos somos novios, ay qué nervios Estamos muy nerviosos, nos queremos como Osos somos comosos, y muy muy cariñosos Cuando está conmigo, me come el Ligo y yo le como, le como el ombligo El ombligo y el ligo, son como un Castigo menudo castigo, tengo yo contigo You soy muy comilona, y tú muy Comilón y soy totona, y tú un poco culón Y si no os ha gustado, yo es por el porrón!

Spanish (Latin America) lyrics

Translation

Señora Landers come sano, cocina caliente Y Harris es su novio, y tiene un gran pene La pasta rica, la pasta está muy bien Pues no la desayuno, tiene sabor a miel Es dulcecita, melosa si señor Y no huele tan rico, como mi gran mojón A mí me llamaba, cuando pequeña fui Pues no tengo paraguas, me mojo el pistol El pistolero monta su caballo, Y a mi mami no le gusta por que es un pende Joven, él es un chico que quiere a su mamá Un chico que no llora, no acaba de mamar Es el chfrio, y honra trabajar Si a ustedes no les gusta, al carajo se van!

French lyrics

Translation

Madame Landers cuisinait peu, et n'faisait que des nouilles Monsieur Harris son petit ami, avait une belle paire de Gants en peau de pécari, qu'il fallait pas qu'il perde Moi je mangerai plus chez eux, la bouffe a un goût de Mercredi j'vais au zoo, je vais bien m'amuser Les gorilles sont rigolos, ils arrêtent pas de se Branchez donc la télé, dîtes-moi si j'ai raison, Je trouve que les présentateurs, ont tous une tête de Contemplez cet acteur, s'il fût connu si vite D'après ce que dit son producteur, c'est grâce à sa grosse Bitte schön en allemand, j'crois qu'ça veut dire merci Et pourtant on pourrait croire, que ça signifie Ma chanson est finie, j'ai passé l'audition, Si je suis pas prise, tant pis. C'est que vous êtes une bande de cons!

Mrs. Landers didn't cook much, and only made noodles Mr. Harris was her boyfriend, and he has a nice pair of... Peccary-skined gloves, that he couldn't lose I'd eat more at their place, their food tastes like... Going to the zoo on Wednesday, I'm going to have fun Gorillas are funny, they never stop... So turn on the TV, and tell me if I'm right These presenters are all a bunch of... Contemplate this actor, if he were known so quickly According to his producer, it's thanks to his huge... Bitte schön in German, I think it means "thank you" And yet we may think that this means... My song is finished, I've passed the audition If I don't, too bad. You're all a bunch of pussies!

Japanese lyrics

Translation

ミセス・ランダースはとても料理が好き ミスタ・ハリスは彼氏ででっかい コックさんはシェフごはんつくる でも食べたくないその味は 下呂温泉良いところよ おサルも入りに来てお 何ーしてるの会議室で 部長が呼んで社内不 淋病は痛いと言うけれど 私は知らないついてないから チンチンができるウチの子犬 毎晩ママはあそこに バターバタした歌だけれど あなたに幸せを運びマン◯

Mrs. Landers loves cooking very much. Mr. Harris was her boyfriend with a huge... (The) cook prepares the chef's meal But I don't want to eat it, it tastes like... Gero onsen is a good place Even the monkeys came to... What are you doing in the meeting room? The manager called me... Gonorrhea is painful they say, but I don't know that, it's not on my... Puppy can do chinchin Every night, mom goes down with... Even if this is a quick song (I) bring happiness to your...

Mandarin Chinese lyrics

Translation

王太太說他很寂寞，想買個小老公 王先生她非常生氣，想謀殺他老婆 他又殺又砍，還學人放炸彈 沒有炸死王太太，被條子抓去關 再說到小助，打架詐欺最棒 一眼看了不爽，他就詐到你脫肛 還有個小方，整天都在上網 破解密碼最快，你根本無法防 還有個三嫂，她專門做應召 走起路來阿娜多姿，功夫也一級棒 這是個好社區，什麼都不缺乏 人人相親相愛，警衛有十二打 勸你快搬來，和大家參一卡 學會那求生技能，你將來就變老大

Mrs. Wang says she's bored, wants to have an affair Mr. Wang is furious, and wants to murder her He kills and chops, even learns how to plant bombs He couldn't do it, and was caught by the police Let's talk about Xiaozhu, best in fighting and cheating One look in the eye, he can deceive you 'til you get an anal prolapse There's also Xiaofang, goes online all day Best in cracking passcodes, you're screwed And there's the third sister-in-law, she's a call girl She can walk gracefully, she can do kung fu This is a good place, nothing short Everyone loves each other, and there are 12 guards Please move here soon, join us all Learn to survive, and you'll be the boss

Trivia

• This song is a parody of the playground song, "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat" as well as "The Assumption Song".

References

Songs from Season Four

Annen Polka | Bu Bu Budio | Con te partirò | Dance of the Clogs | Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy | Democracy in Cuba | Der Hölle Rache | Don't Die On Us | Even A Miracle Needs A Hand | Fingerbang | Hukilau | I Can't Wait Until I Grow Up | I Don't Want to Wait | I Walk Hand in Hand with Jesus | If You're Happy and You Know It | Itsy Bitsy Spider | La donna è mobile | Little Bunny Foo Foo | Non più andrai | Old Time Rock and Roll | Page d'écriture | Silent Night | Spilled Blood on the Footsteps of My Mind (Revisited) | Circle of Poo | The Four Seasons: Spring | The Miracle Worker | The Prostitute Song | Third Grade Memories | Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld | Welcome to This World | Wendy's Audition Song | You Got It, Girl | You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine See also: List of Songs | List of Minor Characters from Season Four | Season Four