The Woman In The Hat

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"Twisted Christian"

"The Woman In The Hat"

"Sora Not Sorry"

"The Woman In The Hat"
Episode no.	Season 28 Episode 02
Production no.	2802
Original airdate	October 31, 2025
Episode chronology Previous Next "Twisted Christian" "Sora Not Sorry"
List of all South Park episodes

"The Woman In The Hat" is the second episode of Season Twenty-Eight, and the 328th overall episode of South Park. It aired on October 31, 2025.

Synopsis

The White House deals with a disruptive spirit from the east wing; Stan worries that South Park has become too political.

Plot

Classes end for the day at South Park Elementary and Stan Marsh is driven home by his father, Randy. Randy asks him about school and Stan is quiet, and Randy admits he knows it's been hard with the family being homeless, admitting he hasn't been able to find work and that the government shutdown is preventing him from going back to his job with the United States Geological Survey, and saying he knows they "all miss Tegridy", which Stan denies, stating only he is embarrassed to live in a motel. Randy then lets him know they are moving out of the hotel and instead the family will be moving in with Grandpa Marvin Marsh at Shady Acres Retirement Community. Marvin complains about them sending him to the retirement community and then joining him, but Randy tries to be optimistic, talking up the amenities like television, a microwave, and Bingo nights. Stan complains there must be somewhere else to say, declaring the retirement home "inhumane" and Marvin points out he said the same thing.

At the White House, President Donald Trump and Satan are overseeing the demolition of the East Wing of the White House to install golden pillars and a dancing floor. Satan complains that the point of the remodeling was supposed to be for the baby rather than partying, but Trump dismisses his concerns, suggesting they can simply keep the baby in a bathtub, to Satan's chagrin. White House Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scanvino arrives and tells Trump they need to speak with him urgently to discuss a matter of National Security, gathering Trump, Satan, Vice President JD Vance, Attorney General Pam Bondi and Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration and Domestic Policy Stephen Miller to warn Trump that intelligence suggests someone is trying to interfere with the baby's possible birth. Scanvino says Bondi is looking into it, and Bondi begins to praise him when Scanvino points out she has a little shit on her nose and Bondi quickly cleans it away. Satan wants to know who is trying to harm the baby, and Miller suggests the demolition of the East Wing has opened up some kind of vengeful "wrath".

Vance calls Peter Thiel, who is staying at South Park Motel Inn with a heavily sedated Eric Cartman. Thiel complains he was supposed to be in Washington DC by now, but Vance informs him that the White House is on to their plan. Thiel questions why and Vance suggests someone has heard them talking. Vance asks if Thiel still has Cartman and Thiel suggests that Cartman will remain sedated for another "six [to] seven hours" prompting Cartman's unconscious laughter. Vance advises Thiel to wait it out until it is safe, then suggests some "brown noser" is after his job.

Kyle and Kenny arrive at Shady Acres to meet an embarrassed Stan, sitting in the cafeteria. Stan tells them not to tell anybody where he is staying, and Kyle tries to comfort him, telling him everyone is having a hard time right now. Stan agrees and claims the real problem is nobody is dealing with it, complaining they have been "dealing with one stupid thing after another" for weeks, and claiming South Park sucks now and that people are afraid to admit it, explaining that it sucks because of "all this political shit" and that the town is "bogged down with it", reminding Kyle and Kenny when they used to do stuff as a group, asking them "what happened to us?" and admitting he hasn't even heard Kenny speak in four months. Kenny admits he hasn't known what to say and Stan echoes this, pointing out South Park is being ruined and all of the kids are just watching it happen, but Stan admits he has a plan. The three boys then film a commercial video, inviting people to join an online community called 'South Park Sucks Now', encouraging everyone to like, subscribe, smash the button, upvote and more, so they can make a difference.

At the White House, Scanvino and Bondi sit with Trump in the Oval Office, asking him what he's been seeing. Trump explains ever since the East Wing was torn down, a "thing" keeps appearing, often appearing in mirrors or in the hallway. Bondi beings praising him and Scanvino once again points out there is shit on her nose, to her concern. Scanvino asks how many times he's seen the unknown entity and Trump says it's been more and more often and he can't seem to escape. He then notices it in the corner of the room, pointing to a woman in a wide-brimmed hat hiding her face, wearing a blue dress. Scanvino identifies this as Trump's wife Melania, but Trump expresses disbelief and asks what 'it' wants. Scanvino wonders if she is trying to communicate, then Trump notices that Pam Bondi has seemed to disappear, and they both begin calling out for her. Bondi then suddenly rises from behind the Oval Office Resolute desk, with shit on her face again to Scanvino's and her own surprise. Trump then points out 'that thing' isn't where they last saw it, only for Melania to appear beside him at the desk, scaring him and causing him to run out of the office.

Back at Shady Acres, the Marsh family is woken up out of bed at 6:30am so that the seniors can get their morning medication, to both Randy and Marvin's annoyance. Stan takes out his phone and notices the South Park Sucks Now team has 756,000 likes, heading to the Broflovski Residence and talking with Kyle and Kenny, admitting he only expected fifty or sixty kids from school to sign on. Kyle asks what they should do next, and Stan informs him that the next phase is obvious, cutting a new video where he acknowledges they all want change in the community and are concerned about its direction, before announcing the launch of the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin, a "digital meme token" pre-sale offer, offering the coins for $9.95 but explaining they could potentially build value, to Kyle's shock and surprise. The video is comically sped up as Stan states a disclaimer explaining he is not a financial advisor, they are not affiliated with a financial institution, risk includes potential loss of all funds, ownership does not represent equity or property and that investment should only be overtaken by those understanding the risk.

Back at the White House, Trump takes a shower in his executive bathroom, stripping from his gold-and-red robe and running water over his fully naked body, before using Towelie to clean his shoulders and undersized penis. While at the sink, he spots Melania in the mirror and freaks out and runs into the bedroom, complaining to Satan that it's "the Woman in the Hat" and complaining that she's in the bathroom. Vance and Scanvino meet with a Secret Service agent who confirms windows and doors are locked and there has been no breach. The agent asks if Trump will be all right and Scanvino explains Pam Bondi is in the room trying to comfort him; when Bondi screams, they rush into the Oval Office and find Bondi with Trump, her nose completely covered in feces now.

At the Shady Acres cafeteria, Kyle and Kenny are meeting with Stan at his laptop and Kyle questions the decision to sell cryptocurrency. Stan quickly justifies that there's nothing wrong with making money while changing the town and points out he is living in a retirement home at "nine years old". Kyle asks if Stan understands cryptocurrency and he tells Kyle he has found a strong crypto advisor -- Kyle's Cousin Kyle, who explains there has been a lot of movement on the coin, with 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked and they are gaining traction. He confirms to Stan they don't need to pay anything and will only profit from the coin, then explains they simply need to continue creating hype around the coin and creating "FOMO" for potential customers so they "ape" even harder. Kyle tries to dissuade them from thinking about the coin and to focus on the movement, but they mistake this for savvy marketing speak instead. Stan mentions needing the money as fast possible, and Cousin Kyle explains they will perform a "rug pull" in only a few days. Once they pump the coin as high as possible, Cousin Kyle will register for an "MSB" with the federal government, insisting despite Stan's concern that it will be easy, declaring "crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain" and promising they will "screw a lot of people out of their money."

Two paranormal investigators arrive at the White House and are invited in by Stephen Miller so they can look into the Woman in the Hat. Miller introduces himself and invites them into the Oval Office where the investigators look into the residue on Bondi's face, suggesting it is a link between reality and the spirit world, dubbing it a "rectoplasm". Vance asks what it is made from. The male investigator, examining a sample of the rectoplasm from Bondi's face, points out it is fifty-four percent filet-o-fish sandwhich, to which Trump expresses surprise, pointing out he had a filet-o-fish sandwhich the night before. The investigator then finds out it is twenty-eight percent Taco Bell, which Trump similarly expresses surprise as he had Taco Bell this morning. The investigator then notices it is fourteen percent "its own shit" and Trump begins to express surprise in the same manner, starting to say he had eaten his own shit, then catching himself embarrassedly, laughing it off, and telling Pam to "deal with them". Fox News then issues a special report where it is reported both paranormal investigators were indicted on federal charges of falsifying data, with Trump revealing they were using their manipulating readings and reports to produce fake news. It is reported the charges were filed by Attorney General Bondi, and a live-action file photo is shown of her, with feces smeared over her nose and face, accompanied by a statement where Bondi praises that "the President is a great man, even if he eats his own semen." The next report discusses that South Park sucks now, claiming the town is a hotbed of political activity, and that three boys are putting a stop to it.

Back at the Shady Acres cafeteria, Stan declares to Cousin Kyle that they are prepared to run the 'dump' and Cousin Kyle replies that he is already on an Acela train for Washington DC and should reach the city by 6:30pm, where he hopes to meet with Donald Trump Jr. and get White House approval for the 'rug-pull'. Kyle declares he's out and heads to the door, but Stan and Kenny tries to stop him, pointing out how much money they are about to make. Kyle points out Stan has complained about South Park taking such a political direction but is now trying to engineer a rug-pull in conjunction with the federal government. Stan points out they are "taking control" as men, and that Kenny at least is "doing stuff" now. Kyle expresses sympathy for Stan having to live in the old folks' home but insists he can't fix things if he only thinks about himself.

Cousin Kyle arrives alone at the White House and is met by Stephen Miller, introducing himself as representing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency, explaining their intentions to fuck a bunch of people out of their money and asks if Don Jr. is around. Miller invites him in and as they walk through the darkened halls, Kyle points out it is drafty but Miller apologizes for the conditions and explains that Trump's taking down of the East Wing has awakened a wrath. They then observe Brendan Carr, who Kyle mistakes for a mummy, before Miller explains it is only Carr, Head of the FCC, and that he has lost his "freedom of speech". Kyle finally meets with Trump Jr and they discuss their intent to perform a crypto dump, and Trump Jr states there's nothing he loves more, and Kyle apologizes for such a late meeting. Bondi then appears and states everyone is needed to gather in the dining room for a seance, hoping to confront the spirit. Stan and Kenny notice the price of the coin is starting to go down and try to reach Cousin Kyle via phone, but he does not answer and they both begin freaking out.

Cousin Kyle and Trump Jr. join President Trump, JD Vance, Bondi, Scanvino, Carr, Miller, Kristi Noem and Karoline Leavitt in the dining hall. Kyle declares if they are having dinner he can't eat dairy. Bondi asks all to place their hands on the table and tries to talk to the spirit, telling the spirit it is sad and lonely but asks the spirit to leave the President alone, and as she begins praising him, more feces appears on her face. Melania then appears and the group spots her, and Bondi becomes possessed, making unnatural movements and declaring "deception". Vance suggests they end the seance and Trump insists they allow it to continue, but when the possessed Bondi mentions "Epstein", Trump changes his mind and says to stop it. Bondi then points to Vance and declares "he lies" and "corruption", and Vance accuses Bondi of trying to take his job. Cousin Kyle is horrified between Bondi's possession, Carr's mumbling, and Noem's face melting off and runs into a corner, admitting that he has been dealing in deception and lies and that everyone has been getting filthy rich off of crypto and that it's all lying and cheating, that crypto is "just a giant money laundering machine for the rich to get richer", begging the spirit to stop haunting them and saying that he's very sorry.

A breaking Fox News report appears, announcing a massive financial fraud has been exposed at the White House, revealing that Kyle Schwartz has been indicted and sentenced to ten years for financial fraud, with charges filed by Pam Bondi, presenting another live-action file photo of Bondi, with feces now smeared over her entire face, and reading a statement by Bondi promising that she "will continue to indict anyone who says bad stuff about our amazing president". Back at Shady Acres, Stan admits he should have listened to Kyle and that there probably is no going back to the way things used to be, but Kyle says things will get back to normal, even if it's hard to see right now, and in the meantime, they should make the most of where they are. Stan is then shown taking dance lessons with seniors to the tune of "If I Didn't Care" by the Ink Spots as the camera pans over Melania standing in a window overlooking the demolished East Wing of the White House.