The Crap Out

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"The Crap Out"

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"The Crap Out"
Episode no.	Season 28 Episode 5
Production no.	2805
Original airdate	December 10, 2025
Episode chronology Previous Next "Turkey Trot" –
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"The Crap Out" is the fifth episode of Season Twenty-Eight, and the season finale. It is the 331st overall episode of South Park. It aired on December 10, 2025.

Synopsis

Satan's due, Stan's praying, and only a Christmas miracle can deliver the Antichrist on time.

Plot

Spoiler warning! Plot details follow.

At South Park Elementary, Stan is seeing the school counselor and talking about how tough the last few months have been, mentioning ICE raids, his dad's company going out of business, and losing their home and moving in with his grandfather at Shady Acres and admits he isn't able to cope with all of the change around them. Jesus Christ, having fully embraced the 'Power Christian' lifestyle now, strums an electric guitar and questions what has changed so much. Stan points out people aren't so kind and giving anymore, and admits he is considering sharing the Saudi Arabian money he won in the Turkey Trot race because he feels like that's what everyone needs, comparing it to a Christmas miracle. Jesus calls this "socialist bullshit" and Stan expresses frustration at how Jesus has changed, reminding him he doesn't want to live in an old folks' home anymore and needs some Christmas magic. Peggy Rockbottom then enters the counselor's office with Pinot Grigio to which Jesus protests what took her so long and tells her to shut up, while she explains to him and Stan she is only late because she went to sing to the needy for charity work. Jesus tells Stan at this time of year, everyone wishes things were better, but that nothing miraculous will happen to anyone.

At the White House, Satan is decorating the nursey and crib with Christmas decorations while singing to himself about the incoming arrival of his new baby, listening to a Fox News special report on the baby's upcoming arrival, with the report mentioning that no one is aware how the baby will be born, but that the "crap out" is coming. Satan's decorations include a 'Baby's First Christmas' and Labubu ornaments. but when singing a verse about the baby's dad, Satan realizes Donald Trump, the baby's father, is not present, and questions Dan Scavino and Pam Bondi about his whereabouts, explaining they planned to spend the day singing and decorating together. Scavino informs him Trump had to fly to Colorado on an "urgent matter", insisting it is "high-level classified" and that even they don't have the security clearance to know what's going on, to Satan's anger. After he leaves, Scavino dismisses Satan's concern as pregnancy hormones while Bondi admits she does find it strange that Trump hasn't informed her why he visited Colorado, and Scavino suggests as Trump claimed only he and the Vice President were allowed to know, it must be a covert military operation. Trump and Vance, however, are on Main Street South Park across from the Park County Police Station, dressed as Santa Claus and an elf and pretending to collect donations for the Salvation Army charity organization for Christmas. Vance explains to Trump that Peter Thiel is being held at the station and confirms only Thiel can prevent the unholy birth. Mr. Mackey apologizes for not donating to the Salvation Army, recounting how he lost his job due to a lack of government funding for schools, as well as his health care, and the high cost of tariffs. Trump expresses no concern and wishes him a merry Christmas. As he leaves, Vance warns Trump they need to hurry before the "crap out" can take place, and they synchronize watches to enact 'Operation Kill My Own Baby'.

At Shady Acres, Peggy Rockbottom is on stage with a noticeable black eye as she sings to the seniors and Stan, finishing 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' and then beginning a song she wrote for Jesus about knowing her place and getting punched in the face, claiming she deserved it, urging the seniors to sing along. Stan leaves and heads down the hall before deciding to duck into a restroom, approaching the toilet seat as if speaking to someone and stating that although he doesn't know if anyone can hear him, he is still hoping for a Christmas miracle, asking that if they can still even happen, please make it happen now. The lights flicker and a strange blue force is seen before the Woodland Critters appear, recognizing Stan from their previous interactions with him in Cartman's Christmas story and asking he missed them. Stan is horrified, aware of their murderous tendencies, and runs away in fear.

Back at the White House, Satan visits the laundry room and mocks Trump for not doing enough with or for him, even while he is preparing to go into labor, while working on Donald's laundry, expressing disgust at Trump's underwear, calling him a pig at his shit stains before finding a blue jock strap and questioning who it originally belonged to, before Towelie, sitting in a laundry pile behind him, confirms the jock strap belongs to Vance. Towelie weakly explains that Trump and Vance are together and plan to kill the baby and Satan pulls him out of the pile, admitting he can't understand him through the dried-up "milk" stains. Towelie admits it is not milk and Satan puts him in a sink to clean him up, and Towelie returns normal. Satan angrily asks Towelie to tell him everything he knows, but Towelie says he will if Satan helps him get at least just a little high.

Stan leaves Shady Acres, followed closely by the Christmas critters. who are excited for the upcoming birth of the Anti-Christ, with Beary summarizing that Satan is going to have a butt baby and there's going to be a "crap out" and that nobody loves one more than they do. Stan points out none of this makes sense, as they where characters that Cartman once made up in his head, and Beary questions if he really intends to "over-analyze a crap out" and Rabbity declares crap-outs have "no rules". Squirrely says Stan wished for them so they could help Satan give birth, to which Stan denies this, but Beavery points out he did wish for a miracle and that the crap out will indeed make everything better, drawing him in. At the White House Rose Garden, meanwhile, Towelie gets high and summarizes to Satan that Vance views the baby as a threat to his presidency and convinces Trump to get rid of the baby but that his attempts were disrupted by the FCC. Satan questions why Trump didn't simply tell him he didn't want the baby, but Towelie points out he couldn't tell anyone because 'you Republicans, abortions -- it's a bad look' and that Thiel was hired by Vance to get rid of the baby, and that Thiel would have done so if Pam Bondi hadn't uncovered the plot to kill the baby, with Towelie pointing out it's "so crazy, man, you can't write this shit." Satan questions what he saw in Trump, and Towelie points out that Trump was angry with Vance for lying to him, but after Vance promises he was trying to protect him, they started having sex over and over. Satan, angry at Trump's deception of him as well as everyone else, promises to make him pay. Towelie is eager to do so, declaring they'll "go get that motherfucker."

At the Park County Police Station, Trump and Vance arrive in their disguises, wishing everyone a merry Christmas and happy holidays and confronting Detective Harris, claiming they are Salvation Army members with food for the prisoners, justifying it as the time of year to give to the needy, including a cake. Pete Hegseth begins to protest they don't need any cake because the President will be coming for them before Peter Thiel, noticing the ruse, elbows him. Harris tells Mitch Murphy to let them in. Meanwhile outside the The Cheesecake Factory, Stan and the Christmas Critters are walking together as the Critters sing a song about the upcoming crap out. Stan stops and points out they told him Satan was in Washington DC, but they let him know that Satan is on his way to South Park and he needs to just get on board with the crap out. Foxy explains that nothing will stop the Anti-Christ's arrival, except for Peter Thiel. Stan recognizes Thiel as the man who gave a presentation at the school, and the Critters express surprise he has met him and horror that Thiel is already in South Park, asking Stan what he intends to do about this, with Squirrely asking if he might kill and eat him. Stan claims he won't be onboard with the crap out unless it makes "a little bit" of sense, and Beary assures him they will make sure it "all lines up perfectly" for him and the Critters celebrate.

Back at the Police Station, Peter Thiel has retrieved a walkie-talkie from the cake Trump and Vance brought in, and they are now communicating. Trump promises to find a way to get them out to kill the baby, and while trying to synchronize watches with Thiel, he and Vance are confronted in the South Park Community Park by Towelie and Satan, who angrily declares that Trump has lied to him. Vance insists they are just doing charity work but Towelie proudly declares he has informed Satan every detail of Vance's "expertly-crafted plot", and Vance recognizes him as a cum rag. Satan also reveals to Vance that Trump has genital warts. Stan and the Critters also arrive at the Park, recognizing Satan and joining his side, while Stan approaches Towelie to ask what is going on, and Towelie simply replies it is the most "exquisitely-woven tapestry of ideas that [he's] ever seen". Satan declares to Trump that his deception is over, as is their relationship, their child will be born and for once, Trump will finally have to live with the consequences of his actions. Jesus then arrives from the sky into the park and defends Trump, telling Satan to back off and insisting Trump is a "great man" who's protecting their country from "fags". Towelie expresses confusion and Stan replies Jesus is Christian now. When Satan threatens to deal with Trump, Jesus pulls out his electric guitar and creates a bubble that seems to allow him, Trump and Vance to teleport away. Satan then begins experiencing intense labor pains, kneeling to the ground, and the Critters turn to Stan for advice, and he suggests a hospital.

At Hell's Pass Hospital, the Critters, Towelie and Stan gather around Satan in his hospital bed waiting for the baby to be born when a doctor comes in and explains they will just need another quick ultrasound and will then move Satan to the operating room. Satan warns him there are evil forces at work and they may need to hurry. Back at the Police Station, Jesus uses his electric guitar to break through the Police Station's main hall and let Trump and Vance in, then to free Peter Thiel and Pete Hegseth from the jail. They greet Trump, who gladly says he's gotten "another Christians dipshit" to help him get what he wants. Thiel warns him there is very little time to stop the Anti-Christ's arrival, and Vance speaks up to say that he doesn't care if his asshole is now filled with genital warts, he still loves Trump. Back at the hospital though, Satan is telling the critters he can't believe how terrible Trump turned out to be, admitting he falls for the worst kinds of guys and calling himself stupid, as the Critters reassure him to save his strength and tell him he's not stupid, pushing Stan to help reassure him. Trump admits he knew how terrible Trump was and how terrible he treated everyone but looked the other way in hopes of a Christmas miracle, his little baby, the only thing in his life that could stull turn out good. Satan worries he will never be free if Trump has Jesus on his side, and the Critters are concerned if he can be stopped, but believe Stan can help them stop him.

After a Woodland Critter Christmas advert, Trump, Vance, Thiel, Hegseth and Jesus arrive at the hospital with intent to kill the baby, finding that Satan is being held in Room #6-7 and taking the elevator up to the fourth floor to confront them, with Jesus jamming on his electric guitar the whole time until running into Stan, Towelie and the Critters in the hallway, protecting the room. Stan promises they will have to get through him and that he is now fully embracing the crap out, to the Critters' celebration. Thiel tells him not to listen to the foul creatures of darkness, but Stan states he feels he might as well help someone get a Christmas miracle, since nobody's helping him with his, reminding them that Christmas used to mean something about making things easier for people who needed it. He questions what happened to Jesus' spirit of Christmas, pointing out he seems like he's given up and hit rock bottom. Jesus misunderstands and quickly explains he didn't hit "her" (Peggy Rockbottom) before admitting he might have, but she was actually asking for it. Stan admits he didn't mean any of that, but Jesus admits Stan is right and he shouldn't have given up and lost faith, and he doesn't want to help Trump at all. Trump threatens to sue him, but Jesus changes sides to Stan, letting Trump now he can go ahead and sue him but he won't live in fear anymore.

As the confrontation ends, the doctor comes into the hallway and says he is sorry to interrupt but informs everyone he has really bad news, explaining that according to the ultrasound, at some point when "nobody was watching", the baby hung itself and took it's own life, saying it can all be seen in a video, noting the baby managed to get "a hold of some bed sheets, there's a couple minutes missing from the ultrasound but it's definitely a suicide". Trump is overjoyed with this outcome, and Vance refers to it as a miracle, but Beary is disappointed there will not be a crap out after all. Fox News then reports that the unborn child of Satan and President Trump has indeed "taken the easy way out" by committing suicide and "lacked mental toughness", with Sean Hannity showing the ultrasound of the baby initially appearing fine, "a few minutes missing" represented by a black screen, and then the baby inside the womb having already hung itself, a small chair visible, and refers to it as "just something babies do sometimes, while the Fox and Friends hosts urge viewers who know a fetus contemplating suicide to call up Fox News as much as they can. The anchor mentions a funeral will be held for the unborn child at the White House.

At the White House, both Trump supporters, including Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg as well as members of the administration including Pete Hegseth, Karoline Leavitt and Kristi Noem are seen hanging out at what more resembles a party than a funeral, while Trump himself dances with joy, ignoring condolences from Dan Scavino and Apple CEO Tim Cook as he joyfully exclaims that the baby's dead, before wishing a merry Christmas to Pam Bondi, who tells him how strong he is and praises how well he's taking it. Upstairs, Satan sits sadly in the nursery looking at the 'Baby's 1st Christmas' ornament and star as he takes them down and starts to pack up everything he has prepared in a suitcase, shutting it and sadly leaving it all behind. He looks over to see Trump dancing in the middle of the party of allies and supporters declaring how he's won again, before leaving the White House for good.

Back at Shady Acres, one of the employees calls out for Christmas mail and letters from home, finding one for Stan and offering it to him. Stan notices on the envelope it is from Jesus and opens it, and Jesus tells him he owes him an apology and a thank you, noting that Stan asked for a Christmas miracle and that Jesus didn't listen, telling him to go to an address, which Stan recognizes with surprise, saying "no way" before running through the town and coming back to the old Marsh Residence, with 'Merry Christmas Stan' written in holiday lights. Stan finds a key from Jesus and opens the house, seeing a Christmas tree already set up and the same familiar furniture including his old living room couch, a photo of his family, and heads up to his room to see his old toy box, bed and more all in place. After leaving, he looks up to the stars and says "thank you" to Jesus, who appears in the stars and promises he will be up there, watching everybody, telling Stan to be good and never give up on the things he commits to, before being joined by Peggy Rockbottom, who praises Jesus and begins singing the same song she sang to the seniors earlier about getting punched in the face, and Stan sings along happily as he heads back into his home.